


Songs of the Heart

by aleatoryEpiphany



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:07:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11910984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleatoryEpiphany/pseuds/aleatoryEpiphany
Summary: Music is life to Kagome, and when Miroku unexpectedly shows an interest in the thing dearest to her, it changes the both of them in integral ways. Miroku/Kagome, Canon Universe. Complete. Updates Sundays.





	1. Flight of the Bumblebee - Rimsky Koraskov

**Flight of the Bumblebee – Rimsky-Koraskov**

 

“What is it that you are doing, Kagome-sama?”

Kagome looked up, startled out of her music before she smiled at the newest addition to their group. It was Miroku-sama, and she smiled and patted the ground next to her as she looked up into his wise, curious aubergine orbs. Violet wasn’t their colour, nor amethyst; no, his eyes were a darker hue than that. His eyes were the colour of eggplants – aubergines. Two wildly different sounding names for that same, vivid, deep purple colour. Not even Inuyasha or Sesshōmaru-sama's golden eyes could match it in beauty. Such an unusual colour.

He sat down next to her and she showed off the present she had been given for her fifteenth birthday – one of many of the small, compact items she had saved up for and bought once she began her trips to the Sengoku Jidai. Music livened her, heartened her, embraced her; she could not live happily without it, even when it made her heart ache. European and American Classical music, to be specific. She loved music without words the best; it pulled on your heart and imagination and soul, expressing without words those feelings so keenly felt inside of you. Or at least, it did for Kagome.

She gazed around at the field that had called this particular piece to mind. Bumblebees were flitting everywhere almost lazily, but she knew what that apparent laziness really was. Intent focus on their jobs, their duties. They had stopped in this glade to rest for the time being and so, since they were resting, Kagome was listening. She had to use her mp3 players (all four of them) sparingly because she did not know when she would get a chance to go home and recharge them. Of course, that in and of itself was why she had _four_ of these things with her. They could last for hours upon hours and so far she hadn’t exhausted them of their battery life before she got a chance to go home and recharge them. Kagome was more careful of her precious music than she was of anything else from the future.

“I am listening to music, Miroku-sama. It is a pleasure of mine that I indulge in as frequently as possible. Of course, it is not as frequently as I would like, but such is life. Pleasure takes second place to duty.”

Miroku-sama gave her a wry smile at her words, showing that he understood her – for all he was lecherous, Kagome knew that there was more to him than that, though he tried to keep it hidden where no one could find it. “Music is always a delight. May I ask what you are listening to at this moment – or perhaps listen for myself?”

Kagome looked askance at him and hummed softly. This was Miroku-sama opening up to her, even if only a bit. It was unhealthy to hold yourself behind a mask, for all that Kagome was guilty of doing the same thing, but… Their masks were so similar. Always the peacemaker for everyone else’s benefit, always playing at happiness, always cheerful. Maybe… Maybe they could help each other. Kagome could _not_ let this chance go to waste.

“Of course you may. This is called “Flight of the Bumblebee” and I decided to listen to it when I saw how many bees were working on the flowers here in this meadow.”

“ _Working_ , Kagome-sama?”

She smiled and turned to him, her cerulean eyes bright with the excitement of imparting knowledge from the future onto one of her compatriots from the past. “Yes! Bumblebees don’t actually fly lazily around for no reason, they are working! They collect the pollen from flowers and take it back to their hives, where they turn it into the honey that we find so delicious. In my time there are farms that house man-made hives to harvest honey from. They have another job, as well, they spread the pollen from one flower to the next, it is called pollination, and it is essentially fertilising the flowers so that they can grow and spread.”

Miroku-sama’s eyes were alight with delight, curiosity, and wonder. He was _far_ more interested in the workings of nature and the world around them than Inuyasha ever was, and it gratified Kagome to see such an interest in her words. “What does this song portray then? What is seen or what is fact?”

Kagome smiled mysteriously and pulled her earbuds out, selected the song again, and placed the earbuds into Miroku-sama’s ears. Then she said to him, “Listen, and find out for yourself. Tell me what you think when you finish the song.”

She hit play, and waited, the familiar tune buzzing about in her mind while he listened for himself.

His eyes widened, then darkened in what was probably delight. Flight of the Bumblebee was a delightful song, frantic and frenetic and filled with a sense of urgency and purpose that she sometimes felt when in the midst of battle.

“Working,” he finally said, “frantic need, driven purpose, urgency in the midst of ordered disorder, things that _must_ be accomplished within a specific frame of time. That was beautiful, Kagome-sama. Thank you most kindly for sharing it with me.”

She smiled shyly at him, filled with wonder because he _understood_ what that song made her feel. _He understands. Miroku-sama might be perverted on the outside, where he can fake his happiness and take pleasure from life in unacceptable ways, but inside he is like me. I_ _can’t_ _let this be a one time thing._

“If you want, Miroku-sama, would you listen to more sometimes?”

He smiled a genuine smile at her – the first genuine smile she had ever seen on his face – and nodded. “I would be delighted to, Kagome-sama.”


	2. 6th Symphony 'Pastoral' - Beethoven

**6th Symphony ‘Pastoral’ - Beethoven**

Kagome really liked Sango-chan; the taijiya felt like an older sister to the temporally-displaced miko, supporting her and backing her up against Inuyasha’s treatment of her more loudly than Miroku-sama did.

Despite that fact, however, she was a little… Upset, with her. She had no _right_ to be upset, it wasn’t her place, but she still _was_ upset. Maybe it was because, ever since she had shared one of her precious songs with Miroku-sama, there had been an understanding between them. He still felt her up, but it was so much more rarely than it used to be, and Kagome did not protest nearly as much, her slaps having softened. It was only for show, and she knew somehow that he would have stopped entirely were it not for the need to distract Inuyasha from saying or doing hurtful things to Kagome or Shippō-kun, the little kitsune she was perilously close to seeing as a son.

Huffing to herself, she pulled out her mp3 player and decided that damn it all she needed this. It didn’t matter that this particular song was an enormous waste of battery life, being over forty minutes long. She _needed_ this right now. And she had a feeling that Miroku-sama did too, so once night had fallen she inched over to where Miroku-sama was faking sleep and touched his arm without a word, before moving into the forest, her bow and quiver (what little use they would be to her when she was such a bad shot) strung across her shoulder. Soon she could hear the soft _ching-ching_ of Miroku-sama’s shakujō behind her as she wound her way to the stream. There she set her bow and arrows by her side, leaning against a tall boulder.

Miroku-sama sat down next to her, his shakujō leaning against the boulder, and he turned to her curiously. The first thing she did was reach over and tenderly explore the area where Sango-chan’s hiraikotsu had slammed into his head earlier today. Just as she had thought, there was a large knot there and she growled in frustration. Talk about an inappropriate reaction! A slap might not deter Miroku-sama from groping you again but that was _no good reason_ to use a _weapon_ on him instead!  Especially a weapon meant for murdering yōkai!

Suddenly her hand was gripped, and concerned eyes were staring into her own. “Why are you so upset, Kagome-sama?”

“She had _no right_!”

He blinked in surprise, shock filling his eyes, and he spoke cautiously, as if he was afraid to misread the situation, “You… are displeased with Sango-san?”

She nodded and tugged her hand free from his so that she could pull on her hair lightly. His hands stopped her from doing that as well and she huffed softly, before exhaling slowly. “Very. Her reaction was overboard and inappropriate. You very well deserve a slap for groping somebody but not _that_. That is going too far. Even Shippō-kun agrees with me.”

Her little boy had come to her very upset about Sango-chan’s attack on Miroku-sama, because Shippō-kun adored the monk and didn’t like to see him in pain, and it was clear that he _was_ in pain; not just physically, either. Just because Inuyasha and Sango-chan were blind to the pain swimming in those aubergine orbs didn’t mean that Kagome and Shippō-kun were. Kagome wasn’t Miroku-sama so she didn’t know exactly what about the situation was causing him so much internal hurt, but she did know a way she could soothe some of the pain, even if only emotionally.

She smiled weakly at Miroku-sama, who was staring at her now with wide, surprised eyes, and held up her mp3 player. “I want to listen to something, and I want you to listen to it with me. It is very, very long, and part of it is far from peaceful, but I still think it is just what we need to soothe us after how trying and upsetting today has been. This song is called the 6th Symphony Pastoral. It’s by a composer named Beethoven.”

Miroku-sama smiled softly at her, and she placed one earbud in the ear nearest to her, and the other into her ear nearest to him, found the song she was looking for, and pressed play.

The symphony washed over her, and she relaxed against the boulder. This was _exactly_ what she needed.

\- - -

Miroku knew very well that the little pleasures he got out of life were inappropriate. Not just for a monk, but at all. But he also would not lie to himself or act contrarily to what he wanted. Part of being a monk was an intimate knowledge of oneself. Besides, it wasn’t as if he actually cared about or was serious about any of the women he flirted with, teased, cajoled, groped. He could be light-hearted about it because he _didn’t_ have an attachment to them, and _didn’t_ mean his advances. It was a good way to break the ice, find out information, make people smile, entertain himself and others around him, and to cause him to be overlooked so that nobody would see into the depths of his heart and soul.

He didn’t even know why he felt so hurt at the moment, really. Sometimes the heart is unknowable no matter how well you know yourself. It wasn’t as if the things that Sango-san had said to him were unfamiliar to him. Granted – no one had ever reacted so vehemently towards him before, or caused him pain in such a way that candle marks later he was still feeling the sting and the dull throb of the hit. Of course he deserved it. Would it stop him? Not really. He figured that this would simply be a pain he got used to; because he was not about to let any chance to lessen his physical attentions towards Kagome-sama go by.

Kagome-sama was perhaps the only human friend he had ever had – she had shared something intimate about herself with him, and he something intimate about himself with her, drawn out by her open humility and wish to care and help. And because now he had an _attachment_ to her, he felt the urge to stare, tease, touch, drop substantially. Of course, Kagome-sama was a great beauty, so it had not receded completely, but now it _felt_ inappropriate, instead of just _being_ inappropriate.

Kagome-sama knew this, he was positive of it. Her reactions had greatly gentled towards him when he touched her in any way, and he knew it was because she realised that he was only doing it because it was expected, or to try to divert Inuyasha’s attention to something else when he was being unmanageable.

Her touch on his arm had startled him, but after she walked out of the camp site he grabbed his shakujō and followed behind her, bemused and wondering what was about to happen. For once he felt completely out of his depth – he was unsure of what would be awaiting him.

The _last_ thing he had expected was the feel of gentle, probing fingers on his head, a growl, and intense fury and frustration lacing her aura. Her response to his question was even more unexpected, and he was almost dumbstruck with having to face the fact that Kagome-sama was _worried_ about him and _upset_ for him. Not that her worry or upset in and of itself could be considered unusual; but he knew that she saw the taijiya member of their group like an elder sister and the fact that she did not agree with the treatment Sango-san had given him – was _angry_ about it, even – filled his heart with a slow warmth of happiness.

He had always known that Kagome-sama cared, but her concern touched him deeply. Her offer (demand, really) to listen to a piece of music with him was something he would not pass up; he wanted to know more about Kagome-sama, and for Kagome-sama to learn more about him.

The music washed over him, soothing and gentling the pain and hurt, and he felt Kagome-sama relax beside him; he relaxed as well, the beautiful sounds coalescing around his soul and cleansing it. He lost himself in the journey the song took him on, gentle, playful, teasing, sweet.

And then, after a very long time indeed and when he had almost gotten used to having the sound of the song in his ear, the tone of the music changed, almost abruptly, and he felt like a thunderstorm was upon the song. It almost made him laugh, this ferocity born from something that had been so soft and sweet mere moments before. It reminded him of Sango-san, but the reminder was… _cleansing_. Soothing. He looked over only to find Kagome-sama watching him and smiling softly, a lovely little gesture that spoke more than words could. This was part of why she had picked this song in particular; to soothe her own self just as much as to soothe him, knowing that the abrupt shift would be a cleansing reminder of earlier, that it would take away the anger she felt, and the pain he felt.

He smiled back at her, a true smile; he found that Kagome-sama was deserving of them, and so he should give her them. She nodded softly and closed her eyes again, her fingers tapping out the tune on her thigh. The song became light again, triumphant, even, and he sighed minutely. Kagome-sama seemed to know him as well as he knew himself, in some small ways. That could only be a good thing – she knew the burden of duty, the yoke of responsibility that came with having power.

He should teach her. Kagome-sama did not know how to use her abilities, and so he should take it upon himself to train her in their use, since Inuyasha would not give her over to someone stationary to have her trained. Her ki was not reiryoku – that was _blue_ , not pink – nor was it hōriki, but he knew many different exercises and ways to tap into spiritual energy and he should pass them on to her. That could only benefit Kagome-sama. And the group, of course, but Miroku felt indebted to Kagome-sama now, for the healing she had just given to his heart and his soul by sharing herself with him, by accepting him, by _looking_ at and _seeing_ him.

When the song was finally over she sighed softly, at the same time as he did, and he looked over at her, before chastely taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently. “Thank you, Kagome-sama.”

She did not ask what for. Kagome-sama knew damn well why he was thanking her. Her entire purpose had been to give him something to thank him for – although _not_ in the way most people would take it. She did this for _him_ , not for his _thanks_. Still, she deserved them, and so she received them. The blush adorning her face was quite adorable, and he grinned teasingly at her before standing up, and helping her to stand. They walked back to the camp site in silence, comforted by each other’s presence, before going to their bedrolls and slipping into sleep.


	3. Shōmyō

**Shōmyō**

They had stopped for the day, and Kagome was sitting against a tree, her breathing deep and slow as Miroku-sama’s musical voice intoned slowly, directing her on how to meditate. It was so _difficult_ though. Kagome could _easily_ fall into a trance with certain songs, but with the chattering of Shippō-kun, the mewing of Kirara, Sango-chan chatting to Inuyasha, and Inuyasha gruffly responding back – she just _couldn’t_ do it!

Miroku-sama could feel her agitation, and he stopped his slow, gentle words, humming softly before nodding and tapping her knee. “We need to be somewhere else, where you are less easily distracted, Kagome-sama.”

Relief flowed through her. She hadn’t wanted to suggest they move to some other place herself, because eventually she _would_ have to be able to meditate with the noise around her, without any music, and she absolutely did not want to make Miroku-sama disappointed in her on their first lesson. It was so kind of him to offer to teach her – even Inuyasha had been somewhat pleased with the offer, although he had crouched it in grumbles about how it was good that she would be less inferior to Kikyō. That had hurt, but the quick glimpse of acid in Miroku-sama’s gaze had somehow soothed the pain a little bit.

She smiled weakly at him as she opened her eyes, and he smiled back, reassuringly. “I think I might know how to help you, Kagome-sama, although this will only be a stop-gap measure to teach you how to get into a meditative trance and show you the things you can do with your ki more easily.”

She nodded, and did not make the request she desperately wanted to – yes, she could meditate better with some music on, but she couldn’t _rely_ on that. She _had_ to do this right, and that meant learning the hard way. Besides, Miroku-sama said he had an idea and she trusted him.

So when he helped her stand up, she didn’t ask to get her mp3 player. Instead she listened as Miroku-sama walked over to Inuyasha and Sango-chan and said to them, “Kagome-sama needs a quieter place to learn for the moment. Yes, Inuyasha, she will eventually need to be able to do this with chaos around her,” he said, forestalling the hanyō's protests, and continued on, “but Kagome-sama has never had to do this before in her life, and needs to be able to first learn in _peace_ before she can learn in chaos. That is how everybody learns first, and Kagome-sama should not be held up to higher expectations than any normal being should.”

Kagome flushed lightly at the way Miroku-sama said that, defending her in his own way against the constant comparisons and the ridiculously high standards and her seeming inability to do anything right. Kagome wasn’t Kikyō – had no wish to _be_ Kikyō – and it was a relief that Miroku-sama wasn’t expecting her to miraculously be amazing at this her first time around like Inuyasha and Kaede had with her bow and arrows.

So he led her away from their camp, and she followed him until they reached a small clearing. He looked around it and nodded firmly, motioning for her to sit down at the base of one of the trees. She chose one close to him and bit her lip, waiting as he gazed thoughtfully at her. “You do things much more… _effectively…_ with music, do you not, Kagome-sama?”

She blinked at that, but then nodded slowly, admitting to him, “It was difficult not to ask you to let me grab my mp3 player so I could put something on that I can meditate more easily to. But I know I have to learn how to do this without a crutch.”

Unlike how Inuyasha always made her feel, Miroku-sama made her feel comfortable admitting her weaknesses, so her answer was calm, rather than worried. Slow, rather than rushed out. The smile she won for her admission was stunning, and he sat down cross-legged across from her. “My idea will work then. I know several chants that are musical in nature. We call them shōmyō. Shōmyō have two variations, one side being simple and easy to remember, rikkyoku, the other side being more complex and difficult to remember, ryokyoku.”

Kagome listened avidly as he spoke; he was telling her things about his life that he had not shared with anyone but those he grew up around, she was certain of it, and she wanted to burn every word into her mind. “One of the ryokyoku that I know is a… _teaching_ song. I wish to use that shōmyō with you, but you may not wish for it – the effects are… intimate.”

She blinked curiously and tilted her head before what he was saying registered. Kagome might be dense sometimes, but she wasn’t _stupid_. “Oh! So your energy will _guide_ mine into learning the quickest way to do whatever it is that particular shōmyō is modified into teaching?”

Miroku-sama looked very proud of her for making the connection, and he nodded solemnly, before giving her a teasing little smile and asking, “I take it from the eagerness in your voice that you do not mind a little bit of intimacy with me?”

Kagome had to laugh at that, soft giggles spilling from her mouth before she shook her head. “Not at all, Miroku-sama. Please, teach me what to do.”

He nodded again, and as she closed her eyes, he opened his mouth, a chant flowing from his lips as if they were born to make such sounds. Kagome couldn’t discern the words, but she immediately became lost in his voice, a rich baritone that consumed her. Because she could not pick out the words, it eased her into a state similar to what her normal music did for her, and then she felt his energy winding around the small clearing, wrapping around her, caressing her, before it dipped into her mind and _flowed_.

She could do this, now. It was easy – and simple – to guide her energy in this state, with his hōriki embracing and enveloping her; showing her how to do this thing, how to do that thing, how to call her ki to the fore without having to be in an agitated, frightened, or excited state of mind to do it. She made a barrier without a second thought, widening it until it enveloped the entire clearing, strengthening it until she couldn’t even see the trees through it. _He’s showing me what I am capable of, what I have to look forward to, my_ _potential_ _, how_ _strong_ _I am. I can do so much if I put my all into this. I am_ _ **powerful**_ _._

His voice firmed as she thought that, strengthened; he could feel her realisation and was pleased with it, as he guided her energy once again, this time a little differently. He gently pulled her out of her trance and had her shape her energy without it, pulling it through her body to surround her, before focusing it in her hands and fingers. The power tingled, and she realised that when she learned how to call her energy like this without his direction, she would be able to purify on touch. His hōriki showed her how to weaken and magnify the glow, so that she could _injure, dissuade, distract_ , rather than killing outright.

She felt his elation through his hōriki, she felt his calm assurance, his pride, his delight – part of that delight was at practising his craft, at teaching, but there was no hiding the fact that the other part of his delight was at the fact that she trusted him enough to allow him to do this with her. Kagome focused on _her_ delight; at his kindness, at his protection, at his willingness to teach her when nobody else had the time, and he shot back to her a feeling that she _deserved_ his time, because she was his friend.

Miroku-sama (Kagome wanted to drop that -sama now; she was too familiar with him in this state to be so formal) did not have many friends, and so she was delighted by the admission of that as well.

Then it was back to shaping, guiding, this time showing her _how_ she went into a trance, and she memorised it, seared it into her soul, this knowledge that was so precious to her and yet was so freely given. Slowly, his hōriki receded. Slowly, his voice ceased to chant, and then he tilted his head at her, his eyes sparkling with challenge. Kagome was ready to meet that challenge. She closed her eyes, remembered what his hōriki showed her, and within seconds was in a meditative trance. She could sense _so much life_ around her right now. All the trees and plants in the forest, all the wildlife surrounding them, even their comrades back in camp. Miroku-sama shone like a beacon on her senses, however, and she knew that they would always be a part of each other now – always be able to sense one another, always be able to read each other’s moods, always be able to be _right there_ without even a touch.

No wonder he had called it intimate. Kagome found that she didn’t mind it at all though – she had asked for this, and wanted this, and even though this wasn’t the exact thing she’d had in mind, Kagome had wanted to get to know Miroku-sama better when she first had him listen to one of her lovely, precious songs. Back then they had been acquaintances. Now they were _friends_ , and Kagome had a suspicion they would be closer friends with each other than with anyone else in the camp.

His hōriki murmured an affirmative to her senses, then tentatively brushed against her ki – did she mind, it asked. He hadn’t warned her enough, it stated, and she shot back fiercely that she _wanted_ this. It receded back into Miroku-sama, humming in contentment, and she sighed softly, her eyes fluttering open again as she ended her trance. She was _exhausted_ now, and hungry, and drained. Not of energy – her ki was swirling around her, eager to be called upon and used – but just mentally drained from the effort it took to learn all those things, and the knowledge that even though she knew what to do, that did not mean she could do it _easily_. It would be hard, but worth it.

Miroku-sama was still in trance, and he was glowing a soft violet, before his eyes opened slowly and he gave her a proud smile. “You did wonderfully, Kagome... _chan_?”

The informality was unexpected, but it shouldn’t have been, she realised – just as she had desired to drop the -sama, Miroku, who had felt her even more intimately than she had felt him, must have felt the same desire. So she smiled at him, before he said softly, “In front of the others, or just when we are alone?”

That was a good question, and she worried at her lower lip. She _wanted_ to show off that Miroku- _kun_ was her friend. But at the same time… Inuyasha was jealous, and possessive, even as he shoved her away and called her names and compared her to his ex. An idea sparked in her mind and she knew _exactly_ what to do. “Both, and neither, Miroku-kun. _No more -sama_. But we’ll use -san for now. Teacher and student should not be on such formal terms with each other that it impedes their learning process, after all.”

The smile she was gifted with was mischievous, and he followed up her thought with, “And over time, of course, as the student begins to surpass the teacher, formalities would be dropped completely. Entirely in public, so that everybody sees it happening and accepts it without thinking.”

She laughed softly with a nod, “Exactly so! When alone, we shall be Kagome-chan and Miroku-kun, and in public we shall work our way towards them. Not too slowly – I don’t want to wait at all but Inuyasha would pitch a fit – but say, within a month?”

“That sounds acceptable, Kagome-chan.”

Her smile as they made their way back to the camp site was vivid. She had learned so much, all thanks to his shōmyō.

\- - -

This wasn’t working. Kagome-sama needed to learn how to access her powers in quiet and in peace before she could learn how to access them in the midst of busy people. After all, wasn’t that how all users of ki learned at first? Kagome-sama should not be held up to a higher standard than anyone else, despite being the most powerful miko he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. So he woke her from her attempt at meditation, an idea simmering in the back of his mind as he walked over to Inuyasha and stated his intentions – defending Kagome-sama from more accusations of inferiority before the hanyō could even start in on her. Miroku was frankly sick of the damn hanyō's attitude, the constant negative comparisons, the way he almost never used Kagome-sama’s name, referring to her by terms that were degrading instead of respectful.

Yes, Miroku himself might act disrespectfully towards women at times, but never like _that_. Kagome-sama was his  friend and deserved better treatment than what she got.

Sighing, he put those thoughts out of his mind and led the way into the forest next to their camp. He stretched out his hōriki and found exactly what he was looking for – an area devoid of the life energy of trees. It wasn’t very large, which was good, and it was moderately far away, which was even better. He did not wish to share this experience with anybody except Kagome-sama.

When they arrived at the clearing he gestured for her to take a seat. She sat close to him, and then he outlined his plan, vaguely. He could have explained it in more detail, but Kagome-sama was quick and he knew she could figure his idea out; she deserved to feel proud of herself and so he would give her the opportunity to feel proud of herself.

She made the connection between his words and his idea gratifyingly rapidly, and the eagerness to her tone was an enormous boost to his confidence. Kagome-sama was not an unwilling student; Kagome-sama was eager, willing, desperate to do well. He teased her a tiny bit about her eagerness, but he understood it; part of the reason for this _particular_ plan was because he wanted to get to know his friend better, and this would allow him to do just that… while simultaneously allowing Kagome-sama to get to know _him_ better, but without him having to speak about himself overmuch. Miroku, despite all evidence to the contrary, did not actually love the sound of his own voice, pleasant though it was, and was still somewhat wary of speaking his feelings aloud. Even to Kagome-sama.

If this worked, he wouldn’t need _words_ , which could easily be mistaken or misinterpreted or misused.

He began the shōmyō, first starting with the bare basics, and then slowly sliding into the intricacies where he _created_ the chant anew. His hōriki enfolded her ki and _guided_ it, showing her all the wide variety of things that she could do with her own ki. He basked in the presence of her aura, basked in her trust, basked in her _ability_. Kagome-sama could do anything she imagined with her ki – Miroku himself was no slouch with spiritual ability, but it seemed the only limit to Kagome-sama’s powers was her own imagination, which was incredible.

Before long the -sama was gone – he simply could not call her something so lacking in intimacy now. Not after experiencing this closeness, this trust, this _friendship_. Good friends do not call each other -sama. And Kagome-chan was _definitely_ a good friend; had been even before now, with her silent acceptance and support. The barriers were gone now, however, and he opened himself up to her, allowing her to read him as she allowed him to read her.

As he slowly ended the chant and encouraged her to use her new knowledge for the one thing that he knew she would be able to do straight away from now on, no matter what the situation was, he waited for her to brush against him, and he queried. She knew now what he had done. He hadn’t told her everything before he began this. Was she… upset with him? Did he misuse her trust?

She rapidly reassured him that not only did she not mind, she was practically insulted that he thought she _would_ mind. It almost made him laugh.

Then came the important part. He saw her shock melt into pleased happiness at the new form of address, and asked what they should do about it. Because whilst he was loathe to go back to using -sama for any reason whatsoever, there was the small matter of Inuyasha and his rages and jealous possessiveness. Kagome-chan’s idea was perfect, and he was most pleased indeed at the time limit she imposed. A “month” was approximately a moon cycle. That was a very short time indeed to have gone from -sama to -chan and -kun, and he was most delighted that she was so impatient to get the façade over with so they could be honest about their close friendship in front of everyone else.

They might not have known each other for very long, but even before his shōmyō, that had not mattered. Kagome-chan was, in her deepest soul, two of a kind with Miroku himself – he had never felt such a strong sense of kinship and acceptance from anybody as he had felt from her aura that day she first let him listen to a song.

He looked forwards to seeing the way that music would further shape their friendship and their lives.


	4. I Miss You - The Daydream

**I Miss You – The Daydream**

Miroku smiled as he watched Kagome-chan play with Shippō-kun. She was wonderful with the little kitsune, and he idly caressed her aura in encouragement to guide her in the right direction – they were playing hide and seek and Miroku had no qualms about cheating, especially not when the sooner the game was over, the sooner something that would make Kagome-chan indescribably happy would happen.

See, Shippō-kun had never known his mother, only his father, and Kagome-chan treated him like she would have if he was her child by birth; bringing him treats, singing him lullabies, teaching him games, sleeping with him at night. Shippō-kun had confessed to Miroku that he wanted _very_ badly for Kagome-chan to be his mother… but was scared to ask her. Miroku had supplied an alternative that would allow Kagome-chan to guess what he wanted, without him having to ask her. “Okā-san” was frequently shortened to “’kā-san,” and Kagome’s name was only a little bit different than that. Shippō-kun could start out calling her “’kā-san” and before he got to the -san, correct himself to “Kagome”.

Kagome was clever and would guess in an instant what he wanted from her, without him having to outright ask. And it would be happening as soon as this game ended, if Miroku got the feeling of gathering courage from Shippō-kun correctly.

She found him and the words out of his mouth confirmed Miroku’s suspicions. “I’m _it_! You found me, ‘kā-Kagome!”

Kagome-chan’s voice was alight with happiness and wonder as she replied to him, “Did you almost just call me “’kā-san,” Shippō-kun?”

His response was tremulous, as he answered with, “Y-yes? I-I...”

Kagome-chan wrapped her arms around the little kitsune and she said to him, clear as day, her smile outshining the sun, “I don’t mind, Shippō-kun. In fact, I would be so, _so_ honoured to be your mother, Shippō-kun.”

Shippō-kun sniffled and wrapped his arms around her neck, mumbling happily into her hair, “Okā-san. I have a ‘kā-san now. T-thank you so much, ‘kā-san.”

Inuyasha wasn’t here to ruin the moment, being out scouting for a camp for the night, so Miroku basked in the joy surrounding him. Sango-san had a fond smile on her face, Kirara was radiating approval, and Miroku himself was incredibly pleased that this situation was settled now. He watched on as they began a game of tag, until Kagome-chan directed Shippō-kun to play with Kirara for a while. Then she went to her bag and pulled out one of her music players, coming over to sit by Miroku. She was smiling happily as she looked over at him; since Sango-san was across the way, she couldn’t hear them, so Kagome-chan used their private names for each other rather than the public ones. “You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you, Miroku-kun?”

He smiled back at her and nodded, “I did, Kagome-chan. Shippō-kun was most nervous about asking you. I am glad to see his courage was not wasted.”

She laughed sweetly, “You knew it wouldn’t be wasted right from the start, you sneak. I’ve wanted this for ages now and you could read that clearly.”

Miroku chuckled lowly and said, “Of course. And now what you both wanted has been achieved. Now, I believe you wish to share something with me?”

She nodded, “I think… You might be confused by my song choice this time around, Miroku-kun, but I will do my best to explain it to you properly.”

Then she placed the little earpiece in his left ear, and the other in her right ear, before selecting a song and stating, “This is called “I Miss You” by The Daydream. It is also often misnamed as “A Melody of Tears” and assigned to being by Beethoven, which is how I learned about it to begin with, and I have to admit that I prefer the misnomer to the original name.”

_I miss you? Tears_? Why on earth would she choose such a sad sounding song for her joyous occasion?

Well, Kagome-chan said she would explain, so he would listen to her words. Sometimes words were necessary to get ideas across.

The music poured into his ear, and he was struck with a sense of beauty, and overwhelming sadness; a strange sort of sadness. “Shippō-kun never knew his mama. And he lost his father at such a young age… it breaks my heart to think about all the tragedy he has gone through in his life. I want to be there for him, never abandon him, soothe his pain. I love him so very much.”

Miroku understood a little bit better now – the sadness was not for the occasion, it was for Shippō-kun’s past, the sadness he must have felt at losing his only family when still being so young. This was how Kagome-chan felt about Shippō-kun in her deepest heart – love, acceptance, and loss.

“But listen – see? There is happiness now. The tears are not tears of sadness, they are tears of happiness, joy, relief.”

And indeed they were – the song began a gentle series of notes that were beautiful, achingly so. They spoke of subsumed love and precious things. After a while, Kagome spoke again, “Shippō-kun and I have each other now – we are there for each other. He has a mother now, having grown up without one, and I have a child to love and adore.”

By the time she finished speaking the song had also finished, and she made the music play into his ear again, “Now, listen to it with your understanding of the true nature of the song.”

He did as she asked. It was immediately apparent, now, why the sadness was different, why it had felt strange to him upon the first listen. It was a sound of happy sadness. As the notes played in his ear they brought about so many varied emotions – not just from him but from Kagome-chan as well. He felt – and followed – the urge to grasp her hand gently, lacing their fingers together. Despite the breathtaking beauty of the song, it still made her sad to listen to as well. It was understandable – every time she looked at Shippō-kun, she saw his tragic past, she saw his loss and pain. There was no separating out the joy and love from the sadness, not when it came to Shippō-kun.

She squeezed his hand and let out a soft breath as she watched her son play across the clearing with Kirara. The notes of joy came again, and she smiled softly, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He brushed his aura against hers, sending her comfort and acceptance, she received it and sent back gratitude; for understanding her and accepting her as she was without question.

Miroku rather thought there was little else he could do, and felt that anyone else who could not do so was a complete fool.


	5. Requiem for a Dream

**Requiem for a Dream**

It was over. Naraku was, for the time being, defeated. Kagome was exhausted, frightened, and worried, as she ran over to her bag. She had been a much better help this time in the battle than she usually was, thanks to Miroku-kun’s diligent teaching. Still, her group needed her aid, so she grabbed her first aid kit from her bag and ran over to them, stopping at Miroku-kun first. She fretted as she saw the bloody gash in his arm and the purple veins flowing onto the back of his hand. He had saved them all from Naraku’s saimyōshō, but grievously injured himself in doing so. “Miroku-kun,” she whispered, “you _have_ to be more careful of yourself!”

Then, biting at her lower lip, she thought back to what Miroku-kun had told her in her second lesson with him. “ _Kagome-chan, your power is literally_ _unlimited_ _. You can do anything you set your mind to with your ki, and never, ever forget that. I think you could even heal yōkai with your ability._ ”

If Kagome could do _anything_ with her ability… And if the area where Shippō-kun had been protected by her barrier hadn’t even been _touched_ by the poisonous miasma, that awful jyaki of Naraku’s not even daring to go near it…

Maybe she could purify the poison from his vile saimyōshō? _I can do anything, Miroku-kun says. If I put my mind to it then I_ _can_ _do this_.

She focused herself, focused on her energy, which was begging to be let out, begging to be used. She gripped Miroku-kun’s hand tightly around the prayer beads, and focused her ki into her hands, driven by her worry and her fear to the point that it was almost easy; making them glow brighter and brighter, before she released her energy into his hand, intent on _destroying_ the poison there. Miroku-kun was her best friend; she absolutely _could not_ lose him. Kagome sighed with relief as she saw the purple veins almost immediately disappear, the poison floating up into the air before her ki purified that as well. Miroku-kun was staring at her in awe as she finished, and she smiled happily up at him before Inuyasha interrupted whatever Miroku-kun was going to say with a shocked, “What the _fuck_ just happened? You can’t just… _purify_ poison!”

Her back stiffened and she whirled around angrily, glaring at Inuyasha. “Apparently, _I_ **can**. Say and think whatever the hell you want, it won’t change what just happened or the fact that it happened. There’s no way I will ever, _ever_ let any of my friends die like that, or suffer like that either. Sango-chan? Did you get stung? Or Kirara? I can heal the wounds for you.”

Sango-chan was staring at her incredulously before she shook her head, “No; no stings, Kagome-chan, just some other wounds. Kirara could use a bandage on her right foreleg – she got pierced with a tentacle there.”

Kagome nodded and she finished wrapping up Miroku-kun’s wound, giving his hand an affectionate squeeze and brushing her aura against his before she ran over to Sango and Kirara, completely ignoring Inuyasha’s furious spluttering. He’d done this before; any time she actually _succeeded_ in using her ability competently he seemed to fly into some sort of incomprehensible sulk. Miroku-kun thought that it was because even though he complained about it, Inuyasha liked the power that he had because he was the strongest person in their group; because he was Kagome’s protector. If Kagome could protect herself, then his position in the group was no longer as exalted.

If that was the case, then Inuyasha was a complete hypocrite, and Kagome wasn’t the least bit sorry for or guilty over it. Why _should_ she be? Oh – she had been at first. When, after only a week of practise, she had been able to make a barrier for their camp for the night, and Inuyasha had completely _raged_ at her, Kagome had felt completely  horrible. But then Sango-chan and Miroku-kun had come to some sort of silent agreement and took turns laying into Inuyasha over his words, and Shippō-kun had cuddled into her, whispering how proud he was, and she came to the realisation that it was _stupid_ to feel guilty because she was becoming _competent_. That realisation had come with a screamed out “sit” for Inuyasha, and a comment that if he didn’t like her growth then she just would let him do all the work himself and stop learning.

As it so happened, that had been a bald-faced lie, but of course, her comment had made the hanyō backtrack. Kagome knew exactly why he had taken back his cruel comments though, and wasn’t inclined to forget them. She would forgive Inuyasha, because she was a better person than to hold onto a grudge over words that had already begun to stop hurting her, she was becoming so used to them; but she absolutely would not forget.

Inuyasha only wanted her to get stronger because Kikyō had been strong, and he wanted Kikyō at his side, rather than Kagome herself. He thought the stronger she got, the more like her pre-incarnation she would be – yeah, _right_. If anything she was even less like Kikyō than she had ever been before, because Kagome _was not Kikyō_ and did not _want_ to _be_ Kikyō. Kagome only wanted to be Kagome. Kagome, the Shikon Miko, Kagome, the hard-working; Kagome the mother of her precious, wonderful Shippō-kun; Kagome, Miroku-kun’s best friend; Kagome, Sango-chan’s heart-sister; Kagome, the shard-detector.

Her position in the group was more important than just being a shard-detector, however, and Kagome was finally coming to realise that she, too, could be competent and useful.

Done tying off Kirara’s leg, Kagome called out, “Inuyasha, do you need any help or will you heal fine on your own like usual?”

A shocked silence from the group met her words; but she was still angry at him for his interruption earlier and he always refused her help anyhow. Miroku-kun’s aura was laced with a smug amusement despite his silence, and she bit her lip to stop from giggling as Inuyasha grumbled that it was about damn time she let him heal on his own.

_Fine, if he wants it that way, he can **have** it that way. See if I  ever fuss over him again_.

Finally, they left the area and headed to a spot to camp for tonight. Kagome, still floating on the high of her accomplishment, wanted to listen to something… _different_ tonight. Something not to her usual tastes. _Requiem for a Dream, it is then, as unpleasant as it is to listen to._

Something to remind her of the battle – and what had followed it. She always remembered things best with songs attached to them, and this particular song was perfect to signify the terror of battle, the fright of Naraku, the fear of her friends being hurt and her being unable to help them.

So it was that when night came, she left the camp and brushed her foot against Miroku-kun’s leg, stretching out her senses to find somewhere suitable. The onsen would be nice, but it was too close to the camp… Ah! There was a fallen long beside the stream that was close to the onsen, a nice little ways from camp. She had her bow and arrows, which she was slowly getting more accurate with, and she heard Miroku-kun and his shakujō as she sat down against the log, waiting patiently for him to sit next to her. Once he was sat down, she promptly put the earbud into his ear and he blinked, his aura asking her, “ _Nothing to say this time?_ ”

She shook her head. “I don’t need to. You’ll understand.”

The pleased gratification she was met with was given a sweet smile, and then she pressed play.

\- - -

The first thing Miroku thought, when he heard the latest song was, _This is unusual, there is vocalisation._

The second thing he thought was less of a thought and more of a chill gripping his heart, a thrill rushing through him, a nameless, soundless terror that caused him to hold his breath until Kagome-chan’s aura brushed against his and reminded him that it was just a song, just a piece of music. He could feel it inside of her, too though. She had experienced this _exact_ thing the first time she ever heard this song, and while the song was not one she was overly fond of, it was still _important_ to her. It was _memorable_ and _unforgettable_.

This song was Naraku, through and through. It was battle, and fear, and terror, and sadness, and hatred, and driving madness. _Kami_ , no _wonder_ she wanted to listen to this tonight. He could feel the fright in Kagome’s aura from earlier, the moment she had seen the damage Naraku’s saimyōshō had done to him in his attempt to defend his comrades. The desperation driving her to force purification energy so strong that it had completely overpowered his senses into the hand with his kazaana, forcing the poison out, driving it into the air, and then purifying it. The energy had been so strong, in fact, that the damage from his kazaana had receded a little bit. Not an enormous amount – Miroku had _no_ doubt whatsoever that if it wouldn’t drain her to the point of exhaustion for days afterwards, Kagome-chan would actually be able to get rid of his burden with her strange ki – but a noticeable amount.

Despite what a momentous occasion earlier today had been, there was absolutely no joy in the realisation at the time – afterwards, yes, but at the time it had been exhausted horror and fear and desperation.

Miroku was trembling with overflowing emotion by the time Kagome-chan’s shaking hand grabbed onto his like a lifeline; it came with a slight reprieve in the music before it dove in head first once again. _Kagome-chan wants to remember today – as it really was, not through a misty gauze of optimism._

Miroku could understand that – he wanted to remember it too, although for different reasons. Triumph over Kagome-chan’s power, over her growing confidence, over Naraku, over the hanyō who kept mistreating his best friend. Kagome-chan was finally growing strong enough that instead of uselessly fighting back, taking every word to heart, and allowing it to weaken her, she was ignoring the cruelty, seeing the degradation for what it was, and choosing to refuse to allow it to affect her. She was becoming so strong and so confident and Miroku was more proud of her than he had words to admit to.

The song ended abruptly, and Miroku was shocked back into the present, blinking and sighing shakily. He took the hand linked with his and kissed the back of it, before pulling her in for a hug. “I understand. Thank you for sharing your triumph and fear with me, Kagome-chan. I will treasure it.”


	6. Autumn - Vivaldi

**A/N: THIS IS THE SECOND CHAPTER UPLOADED TODAY.** This will happen when there are chapters shorter than 900 words being posted, I will upload two chapters.

\- - -

**Autumn – Vivaldi**

Kagome wrapped her arms around Miroku-kun and squeezed tightly as he whispered softly to her. _I knew he would understand_. Now that the song was over, however, she needed to listen to something else, or she would have nightmares. She took in the deepening autumn around them and smiled, pulling away from the hug. “I need to listen to something else or I will have nightmares. Would you like to listen with me?”

Miroku-kun chuckled and said to her, “I will never turn down listening to music with you, Kagome-chan. And I admit, I could use something to drive away the terror the previous song inspired.”

She nodded, and pulled up her Four Seasons album, then selected “Autumn”. Vivaldi was a favourite composer of hers, his music was so, so incredibly emotive and stunning. “This song is part of a symphony called “The Four Seasons” and it has one part for every season; this one is for autumn.”

Miroku-kun took in the forest around them, dark though it was, with a soft smile and nodded, “A suitable choice indeed, Kagome-chan. We shall have to listen to the part for winter once it is upon us?”

Kagome nodded, cerulean eyes bright and eager, “Oh yes! I listen to “Winter” every time it is the first snow of the season! We definitely must listen to it together. “Spring” is for when I see the first cherry blossoms starting to bloom, and “Summer” is the first scorching hot day of that season. Of course, those are not usually the _only_ times I listen to them, but, considering the circumstances, they probably will be for the duration.”

He smiled more brightly and said, “I look forward to sharing those moments with you, Kagome-chan.”

She smiled back at him and hit play, allowing the strings to wash over her, cleanse her of the lingering terror, and soothe her soul with their bright, vivid energy.

\- - -

Miroku had to admit to the simmering relief inside of him when Kagome-chan decided they needed to listen to something else to purge themselves of the lingering vestiges of terror that the other song – for once she hadn’t told him its name – had inspired in the two of them. Her song choice was particularly apt and he was pleased with the eagerness she imparted upon him to listen to other songs with him, to share herself more with him. It was such a delight to be with someone who wished to share themselves so intimately with him, who wanted a give and take relationship with him.

The new song immediately brought wonder and beauty into his heart, as he listened to the stunning strains of sound settling into his ears. The music, as well as her joy brushing against him, mingling with his aura, was like leaves dancing in the wind, light and carefree. Then the song shifted into an acceptance of loss, but an understanding that it was not entirely loss – the loss brought about new growth in the future. Following that, there was more dancing with leaves, before a solemn triumph that signified more of the understanding that the loss of autumn only heralded new life for new beginnings. Then the song rose again in higher triumph, and Miroku smiled as it ended. “That was just what I needed to hear, Kagome-chan.”

Her smile was sweet and understanding, and Miroku was struck with her beauty in that moment – the beauty of a woman who embraced and accepted her fear and then was able to move on and start anew all over again.


	7. La Plus Que Lente - Debussy

**La Plus Que Lente - Debussy**

Kagome had finally had _enough_. She was sick and tired of being treated like some prized possession to be passed around, and while he was nicer to her than Inuyasha was, her new-friend-slash-former-captor Kōga-kun was still treating her like a _thing_ instead of a person. Kagome didn’t belong to _anybody_ but _herself_ and Miroku-kun – as her sensei and her best friend, he had more say over her actions than anybody else had a right to.

Admittedly, part of the reason it had taken her so long to decide that **this** was the right time to _end_ this  stupid fight over her person was because she hadn’t actually been that frightened or angry enough to call her power to the fore more easily. She’d had to do it the hard way and that took time, even though she knew that it was only a matter of time before the king of the harpies came back for the Shikon shards that Kōga-kun was using. “Inuyasha, _sit_! Kōga-kun, if you do not shut up right now I will _purify you_.”

Her hands were glowing with her ki, and the look on her face must have been frightening, because Kōga-kun’s tail drooped and stopped its persistent swaying. Miroku-kun had been agitated for the entire time of this visit, although he hadn’t been frightened for her – Miroku-kun had faith in her abilities and competence, and knew that she was becoming a formidable fighter, not to mention he could _feel_ her aura and know that she wasn’t in any huge amount of danger. Well she hadn’t been until the attack, but they had come just in time to help finish that attack off, even though the most dangerous of their foes escaped.

Back to the present – Miroku-kun was every bit as displeased with how Kagome was being treated, and she sent him a strong sense of gratitude before she spoke up. “I am _not your woman_ Kōga-kun – and _you_ do not have any right to claim me as your own either, Inuyasha. _I only belong to myself_! The only other person who has _any_ say over my feelings or my actions is Miroku-kun, because he is my sensei and my best friend. He takes care of me, teaches me, protects me, and supports me. _I am not some possession to be passed around_ , dammit! Kōga-kun if you ever, _ever_ call me your woman again I will zap you so hard you are stinging for hours afterwards. And Inuyasha if you don’t stop being such a possessive asshole then I will sit you into the ground so much that you can’t walk for the rest of the day. Nobody owns me except for _myself_!”

Miroku-kun was _radiating_ pride and warmth towards her now, and she basked in the feeling, until suddenly the harpy king was back and the battle was on once more.

\- - -

Kagome-chan had been in a pensive mood for the past couple of candle marks, and Miroku was curious as to what song she would share with him tonight – because he had no doubt that today was a day she needed to escape from, although he got a feeling that her method of escaping from being treated like a possession might be somewhat different or unusual. Kagome-chan lived to surprise, after all.

So when she brushed against him on her way out of camp, despite the earliness of the hour he followed behind her. It truly wasn’t _that_ early, but so far their night time moments with music had been closer to the middle of the night. Then again, Inuyasha was out meeting with Kikyō, so perhaps Kagome felt it was safer to leave earlier. When he arrived at her side, she leaned her shoulder against his arm and sighed. “I… Back in the beginning, before we became close, I thought I was falling in love with Inuyasha.”

Miroku had known that. He had also known that her feelings had changed, although he wasn’t sure exactly why. She continued, “Then you came along, and we became so close, so fast, such good friends, and I realised that it was foolish of me to think I was falling in love with somebody who… just… Constantly degrades me, can barely even say my name, only ever looks at me because I’m his ex-lover’s reincarnation. Whatever Inuyasha feels for me, it isn’t love, not really. Especially not love for _me_ , for _Kagome_. I… I really want to fall in love, though. For real. With someone who treasures me, adores me, treats me like I am the most precious person in the world to them. Not with someone who thinks they can own me, not with someone who sees me as an inferior reflection of someone else. Someone who… who wants _Kagome_.”

He wrapped his arm around her, his heart aching for his best friend and for himself. The jealousy and dislike he had felt earlier, watching the hanyō and the ōkami fighting over Kagome-chan, had shocked Miroku into realising that he was, slowly, beginning to develop feelings of a romantic nature for her. How could he not? Kagome-chan was beautiful, sweet, kind, strong, compassionate, loving, powerful, stubborn, courageous… She was so perfect it took his breath away sometimes. Anyone who couldn’t see Kagome-chan for herself and love her for herself – in any way – was a fool. Before recently, his love for her had been _entirely_ platonic, but now… it was inching away from that and towards something deeper. Stronger. And he was so _torn_ because she was his best friend and on one side, it felt like a betrayal of their friendship, but on the other side, it felt like a natural progression.

Kagome-chan turned to him, watching him intently, and then her vivid blue (cerulean, she said they were called) eyes focused on him and widened. She put her hand up to her mouth and he winced internally. He had forgotten for a moment that she could read him so well, and let himself get lost in his own turmoil. Slowly, so slowly it _hurt_ , her hand moved from her mouth to touch his cheek, and she asked him softly, “Who am I, Miroku-kun?”

She knew. She wanted to know. She was… considering. It was more than he could hope for, and he softly whispered, “Kagome. _Just_ Kagome. That is all you ever need to be.”

Her hand trembled on his cheek, then steadied, and she slid it down to his chin, across his jaw, down his neck, and he shivered at the intimacy of the moment before her hand receded. “This song, “La Plus Que Lente” by Debussy, reminds me of falling in love. Makes me feel what it should be like to fall in love with someone, soft and beautiful and a little bit frightening. Will… Will you join me, Miroku-kun?”

Kagome-chan’s voice was serious and tentative at the end, and hope spiked through him as he realised the enormity of her question. _Kagome-chan isn’t just talking about the song. Kagome-chan is willing to accept me into her life in a new capacity, if I am willing to also take the same risk she is ready to take._

So, softly, he moved his own hand to her cheek, traced his thumb over her lips, and responded, “I would love nothing more than to join you, Kagome-chan.”

She blushed deeply and bit her lower lip with a shy, hesitant smile, before placing the earpiece into his ear and placing hers into her ear, and then letting the music wash over them.

\- - -

Kagome had decided on her song as soon as they got back to camp. She needed it. She needed the hope, the love, the fear, the joy, that Claude Debussy’s “La Plus Que Lente” would bring upon her. It was a song of falling in love, of being in love, and while Kagome had never been in love (despite thinking she was heading there with Inuyasha before she abruptly realised a few weeks ago that he would never stop seeing Kikyō when he looked at her, and she deserved someone who saw her as _Kagome_ , and forced herself to cut those feelings off) she desperately wanted to experience it one day.

Not enough to be a substitute for someone else, though.

So when Inuyasha had left to see Kikyō, she only waited about half an hour before getting up and leaving camp. Miroku-kun was her best friend and he deserved to hear her feelings about today more than anybody else. He had been so upset for her when she was being fought over like some expensive _object_ that he deserved to take part in helping her heal from the experience.

So she told him. About how she had thought she was falling in love, about how Miroku-kun himself had been a large part of the reason why she no longer felt those feelings for Inuyasha; because her abrupt realisation had only been the last straw, the final notice. She had already been on her way out because she realised that the person she spent the rest of her life with needed to treat her like Miroku-kun treated her, not like how Inuyasha treated her.

She told him about her desperate yearning to experience a real love, a true love, with someone who wanted her because she was _Kagome_ and for no other reason. And she was surprised at the force of feeling, the torrent of emotions, swirling about in his aura. She reached out and felt what he was feeling – heartbreak, pride, jealousy, love, comfort.

Well, okay that was all fairly normal, although she wasn’t sure why the jealousy was there… But why did something feel… _off_ to her? Something was different, and Kagome needed to find out what it was. So she took in the two strongest of the emotions, the heartbreak and the love, and examined them. _What has changed about this_?

And then she almost gasped. Miroku-kun… He… He wasn’t just hurting for _her_ , he was hurting for _himself_ as well. _Miroku-kun loves me. I know this. I am his best friend, and he is my best friend. We love each other. But now…_ _The love he has is changing._ _Then;_ _earlier_ _– that must be what the jealousy was about. Miroku-kun… Miroku-kun only realised when I was being fought over that something had changed. That was why he was so overwhelmingly agitated. That is why he hurts for himself and not just for me._

Kagome took in this new information and _thought_. Miroku-kun treated her amazingly. He always listened to her, always helped her, always supported her, always cherished her. He had never hidden the fact that she was precious to him, being his best friend and his only best friend. Miroku-kun never did anything inappropriate to her any more, hadn’t for _ages_ , and she trusted him with her life just as he trusted her with his life. Yes, he was still a lecher around other people – he still groped Sango-chan and regularly got slapped (or hit over the head with her hiraikotsu, which still pissed Kagome off) for his efforts. He still flirted with every pretty girl they came across. He still asked random women he had never met before to bear his child.

But that was just the _tiniest part_ of who Miroku-kun really was. He was serious, and wise, and amazingly humble for someone so powerful, and was intelligent and loved to learn, loved to teach. He was a wonderful friend and confidant and she knew that his regular antics during the day were just a part of his mask that he kept up so that nobody else would see his pain, his fear, his serious thoughts, his genuine compassion. Kagome had gotten _so very lucky_ that he decided to let her in. Miroku-kun had gotten lucky as well, because it was _so unhealthy_ to keep everything behind a mask all of the time.

That firmed up her thoughts, her decisions, and so she reached out and touched his cheek, with a hand that was only steady because she was certain that she wanted this, and asked him the most important question she had asked him so far, although if he answered her like she thought he would… a more important one would be coming later.

His answer was all she needed to hear. _I am_ _just_ _Kagome to him, and he is beginning to fall in love with me_ _ **because**_ _I am_ _just_ _Kagome. I could fall in love with him; maybe a part of me already_ _is_ _falling in love with him, considering how easy it was for me to decide this._

She took the trembling hand upon his cheek and firmed her touch, then traced down to his jaw, across it, and down his neck. _His skin is so warm, and he is as nervous about this as I am._

So Kagome told him what the song made her feel, and asked him if he would, not just listen with her, but also _be_ with her. If he would join her on not only the journey the song would take them on, but the journey that their emotions would take them on. His answer made her heart soar, and she shyly settled them in and hit play, completely unsurprised when Miroku-kun’s hand enveloped hers and linked their fingers together, squeezing softly.

She squeezed back, because Miroku-kun was now her lifeline.


	8. Clubbed to Death - Rob Dougan

**Clubbed to Death – Rob Dougan**

Koharu was… _annoying_. Miroku-kun felt that way too, calmly fending off her flirtatious behaviour and sticking close to Kagome. His aura kept brushing hers reassuringly, telling her that he wanted to be with _Kagome_ , not Koharu, that he loved _Kagome_ , that he needed _Kagome_. It kept her calm, as did Sango-chan’s solid presence, although Sango-chan had made Kagome a little angry earlier when she asked Kagome if she thought that Miroku-kun had been Intimate with Koharu when they first met; the girl had only been _eleven_ then, for Kami’s sake! Miroku-kun might be a lecher on the outside but he wasn’t like _that_.

Sango-chan had looked at her measuringly after she told her that, then given her an apologetic smile and told Kagome that she would try to remember that there was more to Miroku-kun than his outwards behaviour. Kagome was pretty sure that Sango-chan had _noticed_ the new dimension to her relationship with Miroku-kun, and whilst not _exactly_ approving of it, she wasn’t _disapproving_ either. Sango-chan wasn’t sure what to think, but she _did_ very much appreciate the way Miroku-kun treated Kagome and so would support her decision. Kirara, on the other hand, _strongly_ approved. Whenever Kagome was sitting next to Miroku-kun Kirara would come sit by them in such a way that they could hold hands without anybody unwanted (namely Inuyasha) seeing them.

Shippō-kun had tentatively asked her what happened between her and Miroku-kun and she had confided in him that Miroku-kun was courting her, and did he mind? Shippō-kun had excitedly told her that he didn’t mind at _all_ , because Miroku-kun was _great_.

So those things were all settled now, and Kagome had a plan in mind for when Inuyasha eventually noticed what was going on. If he pitched a fit at her, she would throw his language back at him and viciously remind him of the only reasons he even cared about Kagome to begin with, which were exactly the opposite of why Miroku-kun loved her and was falling in love with her.

Right now, however, they were on a journey to a village with Koharu, and soon enough she was dropped off and given a new home. Miroku-kun was gentle with his insistence that Koharu couldn’t come with them, but also firm, and very careful not to lead the girl on.

Miroku-kun had been torn about that; not with regards to Koharu, but whether he should lose his mask and stop his flirtatious behaviour because he was pursuing Kagome – he was so sweet, and really wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt her. Kagome had asked him seriously, already knowing the answer but wanting him to realise for himself why she didn’t mind his lecherous behaviour, if he actually cared about any of the people he flirted with and asked to bear his child. His answer had been an adorably confused, “Of course not. That’s _why_ I can act as I do towards them. The moment I become attached to someone I stop inappropriate behaviour if possible.”

She had giggled and then his eyes cleared up, and he had asked her if she would be _more_ worried about his actions if he  stopped his lecherous behaviour right now, and she had nodded at him, and told him, “Once we finish Naraku, you won’t need your mask any more. I will want you to discard your mask then, because all the pain from this...” she had trailed her hand down and caressed the fabric over his kazaana, “will be gone; but wouldn’t it hurt you more to bare yourself to people you do not trust like you trust me than it would to risk my potential – and _unlikely_ – jealousy?”

Miroku-kun had kissed her cheek and held her close at that, his aura radiating wonder and happiness and gratitude for her understanding and acceptance of _who he was_.

Kagome was jerked out of her thoughts as the villagers attacked them, and she and Miroku-kun immediately noticed that something was wrong. They ran to find Koharu, who informed them of a yōkai presence, and Kagome sensed something… _off_ about the girl, but agreed to protect her whilst Miroku-kun and Inuyasha fended off the villagers. She put up a barrier around Koharu, Sango-chan, and herself, and suddenly a presence that had no energy whatsoever flitted in front of them. Sango-chan threw her hiraikotsu at the young-looking girl, but was knocked out when it rebounded back at her, and Kagome strengthened her barrier. _I have to protect… them…_

Her barrier flickered and faded as her ki was sucked from it, then sucked out of her body and into the yōkai's mirror. She struggled to sit up, panting. Her body was heavy. It hurt to move. Something integral to her was gone, and she was lost in screaming, fighting to pull it back to her. _No! I can’t let this happen! I can’t leave Miroku-kun and Shippō-kun and Sango-chan and Kirara and Inuyasha alone!_

She pointed her arrow at the yōkai, but soon it was gone, and her soul with it, no matter how desperately she was pulling on her ki to grab it back to her. And then Miroku-kun was in the hut, calling out to her, and she desperately wanted him, wanted to feel his aura brush against hers, to comfort hers, but it was no use; her ki, her soul, it was gone.

\- - -

Shippō-kun rapidly explained what had happened to Sango-san, Koharu-chan, and, most importantly, Kagome-chan. That Kagome-chan was even able to move in her state was amazing, a true testament to her strength and willpower, but Miroku could frankly care less about that right now. _Kagome-chan’s life is in danger. We must find that yōkai and get her soul back._

Koharu-chan was a minor nuisance, but soon she was knocked out and draped over Kirara along with an unconscious Sango-san, and Miroku tenderly lifted Kagome-chan onto his back. She moaned in pain as he did so, and he wished he could comfort her how he usually did, but her aura was gone. “Shh, I’m here, Kagome-chan. I’ve got you. We’ll find the yōkai and get your soul back, I promise.”

There was no answer, but he hadn’t expected one from her. Instead when they reached the place of their arrival he set her down gently, and headed off to face off against the newly-appeared Naraku. _The white yōkai has Kagome-chan’s soul. I_ _must_ _get it back!_

\- - -

Inuyasha was dying. Sango-chan was knocked out. Shippō-kun was not going anywhere _near_ the yōkai who had stolen part of her. Only Kirara and Miroku-kun were able to do anything – no; no that was absolutely  not true! It _wouldn’t_ be true! Kagome could _still shoot_. Even if just regular arrows, she could still be of use. So she beckoned to Kirara, as she heard the comments about taking Inuyasha’s head off. _He might not treat me well very often but he is still my friend. I cannot allow them to kill him, and I cannot allow Miroku-kun to be all alone._

“Kirara, take me to Inuyasha, please. We have to help him.”

Kirara obliged, and they were just in time for Kagome to fend off an attack from Kagura. Then she focused on Naraku, her arrow aiming true as she noticed the Shikon fragment, and was informed that Kikyō had been the one to give it to him – that was the fragment Kikyō had stolen from Kagome. Wait – why could she still see the fragment if her ki was gone? She looked at the mirror and saw a pink light overflowing from it. _That is my soul. That is my ki._ _If I can shatter the mirror… The souls will escape._

Kagome aimed.

Kagome fired.

Kagome struck.

Her arrow was swallowed, and shortly Kagome was swallowed with it – but she was fighting. She was pulling, tugging, reaching. Demanding that her soul come back to her. Fighting against the mirror. _Miroku-kun. Shippō-kun. Sango-chan. Kirara. Inuyasha. Mama. Sōta. Grandpa. These are why I fight. Not for revenge against myself, but for the safety of the world, for my friends, my family, the people I_ _love_ _._

Kagome exploded out of the mirror, diving back into her body. “Miroku-kun! The kazaana!”

There were saimyōshō around but that didn’t matter because she could heal that. It was most important that they get rid of Naraku’s detachments – but it failed. Naraku was too fast, and as he left and taunted them, Kagome thought that she needed to melt right now. But no, they had things to do, so she helped Miroku-kun (his aura was so intermingled with hers right now that she thought he might never leave them separate again. Kagome was glad for the closeness) heave Inuyasha and Sango-chan onto Kirara’s back, and they left to find a secure place to rest.

\- - -

Kagome-chan had her music player in her hand, and was clinging as tightly to Miroku as he was clinging to her. _I almost lost her. The most precious person in my life almost died today._

Her aura caressed his. “ _It’s al_ _l_ _right,_ ” it told him. “ _I am still here, still with you. I fought to come back for you. I will not leave you._ ”

It wasn’t enough. He almost lost Kagome-chan today, and he was more shaken by that realisation than he thought he could ever be concerned with somebody else. Kagome-chan had changed him deeply and intrinsically. Soon she was finished searching through her music player, and had a song ready for them to listen to. He hoped it soothed his soul – he needed soothing right now. He thought, anyway – if he didn’t Kagome-chan would surely know what it was he truly needed to recover from the fright of almost losing her today.

“This isn’t something I would usually listen to,” she said gently, “and it isn’t soothing all the way through, although parts of it are a beautiful balm. But it… I fought, Miroku-kun. For you, and Shippō-kun, and Sango-chan, and Kirara, and Inuyasha, and my family in the future. This song is my fight. And part of it… is how I felt without my soul. I… I can’t explain in words, or with my emotions, but the music can explain it for me. This song is called “Clubbed to Death” by Rob Dougan and it is from a film series soundtrack.”

So he listened.

At first it _did_ sound like something she would normally listen to, desolate and beautiful – and then the drums and strange sounds replaced the strings. It was a song of flight, fright, suspicion, fear, desperation, need; new sounds being added in and taken away to add emotions here and there. Determination. Courage. Will. Desolation. Hope, and hopelessness. And then the piano started up, and it was _beautiful_.

This was the soothing balm he needed, the sense of loss, filled with a sense of desperate determination to survive. Strings came in, and the tune gained more depth and feeling, before the part that had come previously to this started back up again. Soon enough the piano came back in to mix with the drums and other odd sounds, and it was driven, focused; burning, burning, burning.

The strange sounds stopped and the piano was almost alone, left only with the drums, before strings replaced the drums and began the hauntingly beautiful tune from before that had soothed him even as he ached to know that Kagome-chan had felt like this without her soul. The song ended with that part of the tune, and he noticed that his body was much more relaxed than it had been previously, and so was Kagome-chan’s.

He had been right. He didn’t need soothing, he had needed to know that Kagome-chan was _alive_ and this song, strange as the title was, had showed him that acutely. He hadn’t lost her. She fought to come back. For them. For _him_. His arms tightened around her and he released a shaky sigh when her hand came up to caress his cheek. “Thank you. I needed that, Kagome-chan. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.”

Kagome-chan leaned up and pressed her lips to his. It was feather-light, gentle, achingly sweet, as she pulled away and buried her face in his shoulder. His fingertips touched his lips wonderingly, before he held Kagome-chan even tighter. _She kissed me. I thought that I would end up being the one to make the first move, but no, something about this experience gave Kagome-chan_ _the courage_ _to take the first step._

She was shaking lightly now, so he pulled her head free from where it was buried and pressed his lips against hers this time around, then diverted his lips from her mouth when he noticed that she was crying, and kissed her tears away. Kagome-chan had been so, so terrified. She needed comfort more than he did right now, and so he gave her the comfort she needed, wrapping her in his aura, holding her close, and pressing soft kisses to her face in between gentle murmurs of how much he adored her, needed her, loved her, how proud he was of her, how strong she was, how beautiful and amazing and perfect she was.

He gave her everything he had to offer, and eventually her tears stopped and she sagged against him, exhausted. He gently stood with her still in his arms and walked back to camp, ignoring the soul collectors that he passed by. Kikyō surely had some plan when she gave up her shard fragment to Naraku, and she was no danger to them right now. Kagome-chan was all that was important, he thought, as he tucked her into her bedroll and stroked her hair until she fell asleep.


	9. Mariage d'amour - Paul de Senneville

**Mariage d’amour – Paul de Senneville**

The past few days have been… difficult. First Tessaiga broke, then they were attacked by a mind-controlling sword in the hands of a yōkai, then they were attacked by Sesshōmaru-sama and found out that without Tessaiga Inuyasha goes batshit insane, _then_ they were attacked by more of Naraku’s incarnations – Kagome hopes whatever plan Kikyō had was worth letting Naraku become so damn powerful. Inuyasha almost died, and Kagome’s trips home were… stressful, to say the least. She has no interest whatsoever in Hōjō, and has to admit to her relationship with Miroku-kun to her friends in the future. They pry and pick until she tells them more about him, carefully leaving out details that might make them guess at his true nature. It isn’t that Kagome is ashamed of Miroku-kun, not at _all_. It’s just that they don’t deserve to know about him, the wonderful man who is ever so slowly winning her heart.

Kagome had been glad that she’d given up on Inuyasha when she saw him embracing Kikyō – how much would it have hurt her to see that if she was in love with him?

Almost losing her soul has had a strong affect on Kagome. Not just almost losing her soul, but Miroku-kun’s reaction to it, his desperation, fear, loss, longing. Kagome won, though, Kagome survived, lived through it, and found out that her soul is far too big for Naraku to steal. She is more confident now, practises more with her bow and arrows _and_ with her ki, Insists on getting what she _needs_ instead of letting Inuyasha just run roughshod all over her.

It’s had an effect on the group, as well. They are all a bit more careful of her; even Inuyasha is being nicer to her lately, although she’s not entirely sure if it’s just her almost losing her soul or if it’s guilt over Kikyō – despite the fact that she told him quite honestly that she didn’t care about him meeting with Kikyō – but whatever the case is, she’s relieved about it more than she is worried about it. Inuyasha still loves Kikyō, and Kagome is giving him more and more reasons not to develop an attachment to her any more than he already has – she’d rather he look at her more like a sister figure than she would him look at her like a lover. He can save _that_ for Kikyō.

Miroku-kun…

Miroku-kun has become devastatingly smug and incorrigible around her now. Whenever they are alone and not deep in practise and teaching, he is touching her in some way; kissing her hands, her cheeks, her hair, her lips. Holding her close to him, stroking over her back and sides, and just generally acting as if he cannot get enough of her presence. It’s incredibly flattering, sweet, and unexpected. Kagome had no idea that kissing him would lead to this – and admittedly part of it might have to do with her almost losing her soul – but she is beyond pleased with the results of the things that have happened lately. Miroku-kun’s aura is constantly brushing against hers, communicating his love and devotion, his trust and confidence, his adoration and protectiveness.

Kagome is glad that her suitor is confident in himself, rather than insecure and easily jealous. Especially since Kōga-kun still flirts with her every time he comes around – although he very intelligently _did_ stop calling her his woman.

Which brings her to tonight. Kagome has a special song in mind for tonight, one that is achingly bittersweet and beautiful. She needs the bittersweet right now, because her life is full of so much regular sweetness that she could almost explode with it, so she needs something a little darker to counterbalance the lightness of her life. Despite all the stress of her life right now, Miroku-kun brings relaxation and rest to her days.

\- - -

Miroku was ready. Kagome-chan had something on her mind today that let Miroku know that she would come for him tonight, and so he was ready when she brushed her aura against his; calling, beckoning for him to follow her and let her show him whatever it was that was on her mind. So he followed after her as she left the camp, his shakujō chiming lightly in the night air.

Miroku thought that Inuyasha was already aware of their attachment; how could he not be when Kagome-chan so regularly called Miroku to her side during the day, so eagerly spent time with him, so willingly submitted to his teachings and his touches? Miroku had gotten bolder around the hanyō as of late, and Inuyasha – while not exactly _pleased_ – hadn’t put up a fuss. He thought it was because Inuyasha had Kikyō to go to, and even though he despised that Kagome-chan’s soul was mutilated in order to bring Kikyō back to a half-life, he could only feel thankful for her existence.

The monk was falling harder for the miko every single day; she brought so much sweetness and light to his life that he could almost burst with it. He hoped that whatever she decided on to listen to tonight was less sweet than she was to him right now, because otherwise he might not be able to resist deepening their relationship in a way she might not be ready for yet.

When he sat down next to her and pulled her into his lap she giggled cutely, and said to him, “Do you ever feel like your life is so happy and wonderful that you need something a little darker to counterbalance it?”

He blinked, before chuckling, “I was just thinking that exact thing as I was walking behind you, Kagome-koishi.”

She blushed at the nickname, before smiling up at him and saying, “This song is beautiful, but a little bittersweet, because I need something less happy than my life is right now or I might just burst with happiness because of you.”

Miroku was rather predictably pleased with her comment, as she placed the earpieces into their ears and made the music play. He was immediately overwhelmed with the sheer beauty of the piece, as she murmured softly, “This is called “Mariage d’amour,” by Paul de Senneville.”

He listened as the bright, high notes with a hint of sharpness to their tones filled his ear, and tightened his arms around her, leaning down to kiss her softly. She submitted to his kiss as the notes slowed and lowered, changing their tune before scaling back up and resuming their previous arrangement. The song was as beautiful as Kagome-chan was, he thought as the notes lowered and slowed once more. Then they went back to their lightness and the song ended on a few soft notes that were achingly bittersweet.

The song was just what he needed, and as usual, Kagome-chan knew that exactly; because she needed it for herself. He broke the kiss only to pepper more across her cheeks as she softly smiled at him. “Better?” she asked him.

“Much,” he replied back to her. “That is exactly what I needed right now.”

She relaxed against him, gently playing with the hair of his ponytail, and he held her closer. He loved his precious Kagome-chan so very much.


	10. 1812 Overture - Tchaikovsky

**1812 Overture – Tchaikovsky**

Kagome had been incredibly proud of Inuyasha when he defeated Ryūkotsusei, although it had been a difficult fight. Partly because she’d had to just stand aside and not participate, and partly because Inuyasha had gone full out raging yōkai on the dragon yōkai, which was unpleasant to say the least. Kagome hated it when Inuyasha lost the Tessaiga, it was frightening because she might have to attack him in order to save herself from his bloodthirstiness and he was her friend; she didn’t want to injure him in any way.

Right now, however, she was fighting for her sanity. It was easier than she had thought it would be, to combat Tsubaki’s mind control techniques, and Kagome was absolutely positive that this was only because of Miroku-kun’s teaching her how to use her abilities properly. She could more easily defend not only her body, but her mind as well. So she fought, and struggled, and ignored the taunting that the dark miko was giving her. Kagome knew that she wasn’t Kikyō, wasn’t as knowledgeable as the other miko ( _yet_ ), but she was more powerful than Kikyō and she knew it well. Kikyō herself had admitted to this, in front of Kagome, even. Tsubaki couldn’t do nearly as much as Kagome could, since she hadn’t even been able to match up against Kikyō when the now-undead miko was alive.

Tsubaki had to make deals with evil yōkai in order to survive and be powerful. Kagome did _not_.

Miroku-kun was close by, his aura strengthening hers as she fought against the mind control, giving her courage and power to resist. _I can’t let her make me hurt my friends and loved ones_.

Kagome might not be in love with Inuyasha, but he was still her friend – even more so now than he had been to begin with, as he was actually nicer to her now, used her name instead of “wench,” “woman,” or “bitch,” and respected her wishes more often. He’d stopped heaping abuse on her son as well. Kagome wasn’t sure what was behind the changes, but she was grateful for them; Miroku-kun was as well, it had hurt him deeply to hear and see Inuyasha abusing Kagome like he did in the beginning.

Her arrow hit Tsubaki’s barrier and shattered it for the second time, while Inuyasha was attacking the yōkai under Tsubaki’s control, and Kagome rebounded Tsubaki’s shikigami, purifying the large fragment of the Shikon that the older miko had in her possession, courtesy of Naraku. Tsubaki fled, taking the fragment of the Shikon with her, and they gave chase, only to see the saimyōshō steal the fragment away and watch Tsubaki die of her wounds from the fight and the saimyōshō.

The fight left Kagome with mixed feelings, and she was restless, needing to listen to something that would comfort her but still express her feelings at having almost been taken over by something vile. Maybe something… She wasn’t sure. So it was with deep thought that Kagome settled into her sleeping bag that evening; not to go to sleep, but to think. Miroku-kun’s presence comforted her, brushing against and twining with her aura reassuringly and confidently. “ _You can do this_ ,” it said. “ _You have already overcome so much worse today, koishi_.” And she had. She’d overcome the mind control attempt, she had overcome her fear of hurting her friends, she had overcome her inability – her arrows had aimed true and her practise was bearing fruit. She rarely missed her targets any more.

So… triumphant as well. She needed something soothing, beautiful, frantic, and triumphant. What piece did she know that had all of those elements?

Oh! The full version of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture had all of those elements in it. It was exactly what she needed. She almost laughed, because she knew that anybody not strongly into classical music in her time would be confused as to what she meant by her choice; because the most well-known part of that overture was only the ending finale of triumph. But the entire song was so much more complex, although it was hardly soothing in its entirety; the beginning was soothing, before it dove into chaos and desperation and drive and triumph, and there were some soothing parts in the midst of all the rest, but overall the song was a mix of emotions, feelings, thoughts.

And that was exactly what Kagome needed today.

So she waited until it got late and Inuyasha was resting – not asleep, because Inuyasha didn’t usually sleep through the night and besides, Kagome wanted to be open about her relationship with Miroku-kun, not keep hiding it like they had in the beginning – and then left the camp, her aura brushing against Miroku-kun’s on the way out. Sure enough, he followed her, and as soon as he arrived she was displaced from her spot and pulled into his lap – as usual, which made her giggle until he kissed her. His kisses felt so _good_ , she thought, before he pulled away.

“I’m so proud of you, koishi. You fought and won against someone with so much more experience than you have. You’re progressing so nicely, you’re so strong, and your will is so bright and beautiful; just as you are.”

She blushed at the praise he gave her, at his pride in her, before stating, “Today’s song is… well...”

She tried to think of a single word to express what this song was, floundering until Miroku-kun said, “Going to be perfect for the occasion, as all your song choices are.”

Kagome smiled sweetly at him and allowed his words to reassure her. “If you insist, so it must be.”

He smiled back at her and commented, “Of course I insist.”

That made her giggle again, and he kissed her again, before she put the earbuds into their ears, and then the word she was looking for hit her. “Complex. That is the word I was looking for. Complex, just as today was. Soothing, because I need to be soothed. Frantic, because I was feeling frantic whilst fighting for my sanity. Triumphant because I won, I succeeded, in so many ways today.”

He nodded solemnly at her and she pressed play.

\- - -

Kagome-chan was clearly divided and torn about what she wanted to listen to tonight, so Miroku reassured her as she debated on what her choice of song would be. When she finally made the decision her aura was laced with calm contentment, and he wondered what could accurately express her feelings about today. Because surely they were mixed and disparate, as she had gone through so much.

When she left the camp, he followed her call.

As he flirted with her she relaxed more, and he was pleased that he could do that to her, that it was _Miroku_ who could comfort and relax her when she was feeling anxious, worried, or confused.

So she played her music, which she told him was called 1812 Overture and composed by someone called Tchaikovsky, and the first notes to enter into his ear were a soothing balm of solemnity. He relaxed against the tree they were sitting against as the strings filled his ear, and he smiled softly. _She needed to be soothed and reassured about what happened today_.

He did too, honestly.

Then horns came in, adding depth to the soothing strings, and the chorus of music became softly, quietly triumphant, before the music darkened and became a vivid chase, a wild thrill, desperate and determined. Horns and strings and drums combined to make a whole that achingly expressed Kagome-chan’s fight against Tsubaki.

And then triumph filled his ears – a rough, insistent triumph, rather than a solemn one as had come before. Then the song dipped once more into desperation and willpower. Drive to fight, drive to succeed, drive to overcome. Kagome-chan _had_ overcome.

And the song showed that as the triumph returned amidst the chaos – when Kikyō had come and warned Tsubaki against going against Kagome-chan this must have been how she felt. Then it was back to the fight, and back to the triumph intermingled with the fight, expressing with clarity how she had felt before the strains of sound became more soothing and softer once again. Miroku understood clearly why Kagome-chan had picked this particular piece of music, and as he had told her it would be, it was perfect; just what they needed.

The soothing sounds dipped into a light, teasing battle; Kagome’s determination and pleasure at Miroku’s confidence shining through.

Then came the harsher battle once more, those sounds of overcoming will sparkling throughout it before the desperation came back, nipping at the heels of the strings and the horns before determined triumph came back.

The soothing tune entered back again once more, and Miroku was pleased – this would help Kagome-chan heal very well indeed from her experiences.

Despite all the repetition in this song, it did not sound or feel repetitious, it felt… natural, for the song to develop like so.

Triumph came back in, this time more fiercely than before, and the song was filled with and ended with the triumph.

“That was beautiful, precious,” he said when it ended. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

Her smile was vivid and glorious.


	11. Chapter 11

**Love Story – Francis Lai**

Miroku sat against a tree next to Kagome-chan and sighed softly as the beautiful music in his ears pulled at the strings of his heart. This piece was achingly expressive, and made him feel as if he were falling in love with Kagome-chan all over again.

He was there, now; he had fallen, and she had caught him, buoyed him up against the wind driving him onwards, and just as surely as she had caught him in his fall, he was in love with her now. He hadn’t told Kagome-chan yet – she needed to be the first one to express such a thing, so that she would not feel uncomfortable or upset that her feelings were not as strong as his yet, but he suspected that she already knew, from how insistently she had wanted to listen to this piece of music, despite it being midday. Inuyasha was out hunting for food for their lunch right now, and Kagome-chan had taken the opportunity to manhandle him into listening to another song with her – well, not really manhandle him, as Miroku was _always_ willing to listen to anything Kagome-chan wanted to listen to, but even so.

Her insistence had been utterly adorable and amusing.

Still, they _always_ seemed to feel the same about any song she had him listen to, so he wondered if this might be a veiled confession from her to him – did she return his feelings fully? Was she as in over her head as he was? He could only hope with all of his heart that this was the case, because he desperately wanted to hear her tell him she loved him and know that every word she spoke whispered “ _I am so in love with you that it aches, Miroku_.”

The song ended and Kagome-chan gently leaned against his arm, her head resting on his shoulder as she sighed and said softly, “This song is called “Love Story”. It… It’s how I’ve felt about you for several days now.”

She laughed softly and shook her head lightly, as hope coursed through him, soared through him. “It’s less scary to admit that you’re in love if you can express that you are in love without saying it directly at first; or at least, it happened to be so for me. I only had the courage because you never hide yourself from me…”

He smiled at her and tilted her head up for a soft kiss, “I never do, I never will. I love you so much, Kagome-chan, I am so in love with you that it hurts, just as this song was so beautiful that it hurt.”

Her returned smile was shy and filled with relief. It must have been scary for her to admit her feelings, not only to herself but to him as well, and he was _so proud_ of her for gathering her courage to admit this – especially considering that Inuyasha could be back at any time, and whilst Inuyasha was most definitely not blind like he sometimes acted and was aware that there was a romance developing between Kagome-chan and Miroku, they tried not to shove it into his face, because of his own tangled emotions and unhealthy relationship with Kikyō.

So he kissed her again, whispering against her lips, “I am so proud of you, precious. Thank you; for the song, for your feelings, for yourself. You give me so much, and I will never, ever, discard the gifts you have given to me, koishi.”

She clung to him and mumbled against his mouth, “I’m not the only one who gave gifts. You mean more to me than I have words to express. Love you so much.”

He held her close and kissed her hair, basking in joy from her love.


	12. Winter - Vivaldi

**Winter – Vivaldi**

Tessaiga is stronger now, having the ability to cut through barriers, and the group has learned more about Naraku and his self before he became Naraku. Onigumo was desperately in love with Kikyō and Kagome contemplates this as she watches the snow falling around them. _I don’t have any music that accurately portrays my feelings about the love that Onigumo had for Kikyō, and I need to stop thinking about this. Today is the day I promised to listen to “Winter” with Miroku, though, and that should distract me from thinking about twisted, fucked up love nicely_.

They make camp in a small cave, and Kagome sighs as she watches Inuyasha stomping around outside their camp, looking for firewood with Shippō-kun. Inuyasha has been in a pensive mood lately after finding out about Onigumo, and she almost wishes to share some of her music with him to distract him from it, but she knows it would be useless. Music doesn’t speak to him the way it speaks to Miroku and her, it wouldn’t soothe his soul or make things any easier on him.

It’s yet another reason she is glad that she fell for Miroku instead of Inuyasha; she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t share her deepest feelings.

So while Inuyasha and Shippō travel further afield, she beckons to Miroku, who immediately pulls her into his lap. He has become more open about touching her where Inuyasha can see them, since Inuyasha has lessened his abuse of her person – he is no longer worried that the abuse will strengthen because Inuyasha is upset over Kagome not being in love with him. And it hasn’t. Inuyasha seems to quietly accept their relationship, focusing more on Kikyō and trying to mend things with the undead miko. Kikyō truly does love Inuyasha, deep down, as seen by how hard she is working on trying to end Naraku from her own side of things. Kagome thinks that they will have to work together to end him, and isn’t sure _what_ to do about the situation – when she completes the jewel should she wish Kikyō back to life with it? It would be the kind thing to do, but would it be a selfish wish because she is doing it to make her friend happy? Kagome can’t make a selfish wish on the jewel, and Inuyasha has confided in her that he no longer wants to use the jewel to make a wish for himself – he realises what a burden an unselfish wish is.

Miroku brushes her hair out of her face and trails his hand down to her cheek, pulling her out of her thoughts. His aura is brushing against hers worriedly, and his eyes are concerned, beautiful aubergine laced with slight frustration and a need to help. “Kagome?”

She kisses him softly, before resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. My thoughts ran away with me. It’s this whole mess – Onigumo and Kikyō and Inuyasha and the jewel and making an unselfish wish – it’s just… all so difficult.”

Miroku kisses her forehead lightly, and wraps his arms around her tightly. The action makes her relax into him, and she pulls out her mp3 player. “Here, this will distract me, although it is hardly a restful piece of music, I think it will still help. The striking beauty and the snow and you… It’ll help.”

He smiles gently at her and nods, and she arranges the earbuds before resting her head back on his shoulder, allowing the strings to pull her away from her depressing thoughts and into something more vivid and beautiful.

\- - -

Kagome (ever since they confessed their deepened love for each other the suffixes are gone, replaced by a soft intimacy when they say each other’s names) has been thoughtful lately. More than thoughtful, really. Distracted, depressed, and disillusioned. Miroku largely blames Naraku for her rapid mood swing, and the fact that she doesn’t have any music with her to express how she feels about the situation is only making things worse.

Still, today is the first snowfall of the year, and he is hopeful that the piece of winter music she promised to listen to with him will distract her from her pensive mood and ease the burden on her heart. She gets lost in thought once more before she decides to play the music, and her comment on her thoughts does nothing to ease his worry. She has such a large burden upon her shoulders, and he can do nothing to ease it. They have talked about her wish, and she is so torn over it – on the one hand, they both know that simply wishing the jewel out of existence would be the best thing to do, but on the other hand, Kagome wants her friends to be happy more than anything else, and Inuyasha would be more than happy if she wished Kikyō back to life.

A moon ago, Miroku would have told her not to think about Inuyasha’s happiness, because Inuyasha treated her like trash, but the hanyō has changed, gentled, and treats Kagome with more respect than he used to treat her with. Ah, now _Miroku_ is the one thinking these thoughts. Kagome tidily distracts him with her music, and he listens intently as the song flows into his ear. He watches the snow falling down, and muses that the beginning of this is definitely not restful, just as Kagome warned him. But it is still beautiful, he thinks; in a desolate, icy manner, which is fitting for the season outside.

Shippō-kun comes back inside with an armful of sticks and twigs as the music heightens and changes, becoming more of a chorus of beauty and rapid-falling snow. The kit smiles to see them, and waves, before heading back outside, followed by Inuyasha’s entrance into the cave with his own armful of thick branches and good, dry wood. The hanyō glances at them and tilts his head at Miroku before walking back out of the cave. The music crashes over as he leaves, beautiful strings played at incredible speed and with an intense depth. It weaves in and out between speed and slowness, a single instrument intermixing and intermingling with a chorus of other strings for quite some time before it slows down to a desolate beauty once more, the single instrument playing the main tune being hauntingly gorgeous.

Kagome has relaxed into him now, her fingers tapping out the notes being played upon his arm with a familiarity that comes from having listened to a song more times than one can count. Her tapping is comforting rather than distracting, though, keeping beat to the tune playing into his ear, as he watches the snow fall and listens to the rising chorus.

The song reminds him even more of falling snow now, the beauty of a sudden snowstorm that leaves one trapped – much like the storm that has caused them to take shelter in this cave. Then after some time it speeds up, becoming a blizzard instead of just a snowstorm; much like they used to experience back at his temple during the winter months.

The end comes suddenly, and without warning he is shocked out of his thoughts to look down at Kagome. Her eyes are closed, her breathing is more even and relaxed, and her body is far less tense than it was when the song began. Good; the song did what it was supposed to do. He kisses her forehead lightly and leans back against the wall of the cavern, basking in her closeness.


	13. Night on Bald Mountain - Mussorgsky

**Night on Bald Mountain – Mussorgsky**

The Shichinintai were a Kami-damned _trial_. One would think, being human, that they would be easily dealt with; but no, they are more than merely human now. They are undead, animated by Shikon shards. First it was that crazy Jakotsu in a _pink_ kimono, whom they barely dealt with before along came the poisoner, Mukotsu, who poisoned all of the human members of their group and then tried to _force_ Miroku’s precious Kagome into wedding him. Miroku had never in his life thought he would be _glad_ for the presence of Sesshōmaru-sama but when he found out how the daiyōkai had saved his koishi, he was elated. She could have suffered so much without his timely interference.

And then there was Renkotsu – the human members of the group were all unconscious for the first appearance of Ginkotsu, and had not been exposed to Jakotsu for very long – who at that point made Miroku wish that Inuyasha was a little less trusting. Which was, frankly, rather hilarious, because in the beginning Inuyasha’s suspicious nature had been a right annoyance to deal with. But seriously, after encountering _three_ enemies with names all ending in -kotsu, one would think that a fourth being with that ending to their name would bring about suspicion.

Miroku shuddered to think of what would have happened had they not been gotten out of that burning temple. He and Kagome would have been gone, lost, forever. Yes, they would be reincarnated, but that was no guarantee they would find each other again and not being with Kagome – not having her in his life in any way whatsoever – was unthinkable by now. He _needed_ her.

He had been reassured that the sentiment was felt on her end as well, too. It would have been torture.

It certainly wasn’t helping things that their shards had been stolen; although, thankfully, Inuyasha realised that it was his own damn fault, and hadn’t begun mistreating any of them or taking his anger out on them. He had mostly been sulky and sullen more than anything else, which was – well, not exactly _good_ , but was better than Inuyasha blowing up at them for something that was his fault to begin with.

And Kōga-san _also_ certainly wasn’t helping things. Every time he came around it stressed Kagome out more and more – he had stopped claiming her as his, but despite her _clearly_ being in a relationship with Miroku, Kōga-san insisted on continuing to flirt with her. Most women would find that flattering; but Kagome, his wonderful, beautiful, precious miko, was humble to her core and did not like the added pressure of a suitor who couldn’t respect her boundaries, even if he was kind and flattering to her. It _wa_ _s_ incredibly pleasing that she accepted and even enjoyed such treatment from Miroku himself, however. Then again, Kōga-san was just a suitor trying to gain her attention, Miroku was actively _courting_ her and _in a relationship_ with her.

Still, Kagome’s aura had been incredibly agitated as of late; frightened, worried, angry, indecisive. She’d picked out a song for them to listen to – he saw her finally stop fiddling around with her music player earlier today, and wondered what choice she had made. Hopefully it would purge some of her emotions – although he knew that for the both of them, purging unpleasant emotions meant listening to less than pleasant music, so tonight might just be another two-song night, depending on her choice.

\- - -

Kagome’s life lately had just been one damn thing after another. First she got poisoned, and strangled in an attempt to knock her out since she was fighting the poison, just so some disgusting creep could try to force her to marry him – and consummate that marriage, which haunted her mind even now. The mere _idea_ just… Kagome had been sticking closer to her Miroku as of late than she ever had before, and even Inuyasha hadn’t grumbled whatsoever – in his own way, he understood her trauma and was trying to support her healing from it. He had really come a long way.

Then she was almost _burned alive_ , along with Miroku and Sango-chan. Kirara and Shippō-kun were safe during this whole set of fiascos – so was Inuyasha, at least relatively anyway – so Kagome wasn’t worried as much about them, although she still _wa_ _s_ worried. She made sure to spend extra time with Shippō-kun; not just for making sure he was okay, but to reassure him that he did not lose his only parent yet again. She had even been allowing him to sit in on her private training sessions with Miroku.

Another reason why Kagome had been sticking close to Miroku was because of Kōga-kun. She liked him, really she did, but… Kōga-kun was _definitely_ not respecting her wishes. He was actively chasing after her even though she was very, _very_ openly with Miroku. It was frustrating and embarrassing. Especially because he was _still_ treating her like a damn _object_!

She was tempted to zap him the next time he flirted with her, she really was, because anything that _ma_ _d_ _e it stop_ could only be a good thing. Kagome only wanted _one_ person to be flirting with her, and that was _Miroku_ , because he saw her for herself, loved her for herself, was _in love_ with her for herself. He was her best friend and most important person. Nobody understood her, _g_ _o_ _t_ her, like Miroku did. They had such a deep connection, bound together by the music she adored – and by so many other things she couldn’t even begin to count them.

Still, Kagome would be purging herself tonight – a double purge. One to express her terror and fear at what might have happened, and one to soothe her soul and remind her that everything was okay now. It wouldn’t be okay for long; their life was simply just full of being attacked right now, with the Shichinintai in the picture chasing after them at Naraku’s behest. But for now, there was peace.

\- - -

Miroku followed Kagome out of the camp late that night; they weren’t trying to hide their friendship – well _relationship_ , now – any more, but these moments of music between them felt better in privacy, even if it was only relative privacy.

As he pulled Kagome into his lap, he asked her, “Will there be two tonight?”

She looked up at him with slight surprise, then chuckled, “Was it that obvious?”

He caressed her cheek gently, “Only to me. Always to me.”

She smiled softly at him and said, “This first song is called “Night on Bald Mountain”, and it’s… Dark. Heavy. Terrifying. It will purge the fear and disgust.”

All things that he knew she was feeling at the moment – good, this piece of music would purge those emotions from her even as it brought them about in her. So he waited patiently for her to put in their earpieces and listened as the first strains of music hit his ear. His first thought was a chill down his back, coupled with, _S_ _he’s right. This is rather terrifying, dark, and heavy._ _Not as bad as the Naraku song –_ _which is admittedly only so_ _unpleasant_ _because of the connotations –_ _but still frightening_.

The music weighed upon him, strings and horns played in fast, deep tones, bringing about the feeling as if he had been aware during his time inside of the fire at the temple. And it continued on and on like that, every single note inspiring more fear, more fright, more devouring, overpowering, heavy horror.

The parts that sounded almost triumphant now somehow just made the entire piece _worse_. Not that it was unpleasant to listen to; in its own way it was striking and beautiful, but it was a macabre beauty. A dark, deadly, dangerous beauty.

He listened to the song, lost in the emotions it brought upon him; it was rather relieving to have these things being so forcibly pulled from him and purged from him. Since he had not been aware of the experience when it happened, it seemed to only make the lingering worry, terror, and fear all that much worse. Miroku wasn’t feeling the same disgust as Kagome was – _he_ hadn’t been the one who was almost unwillingly forced into marriage after all – but he could see why this would rip it out of her.

Suddenly the music was almost gentle, in a way that was an enormous relief. Clearly the “Night” part of the song was over now, and he relaxed, Kagome relaxing alongside of him with a shaky sigh. Now onto the comfort.


	14. Canon in D Major - Pachelbel

**A/N:** Two chapters today because this one is short and follows directly after the previous one. THIS IS THE SECOND CHAPTER TODAY. PLEASE DO NOT MISS THE PREVIOUS ONE. Okay thanks a bunch! Ta my beautiful readers!  <3

\- - -

**Canon in D Major – Pachelbel**

Kagome sighed shakily as “Night on Bald Mountain” finally ended. She felt better now; all those tumultuous unpleasant emotions having been forced out of her. Still, she needed to be soothed and so she pulled up Pachelbel’s “Canon in D Major”. It was one of the most beautiful songs she knew, soothing and soft and stunning in its entirety. She had at least five different versions of the song to listen to; it was covered in so many different ways. Tonight would be a more traditional symphonic string version though – the piano versions were all stunning but not… _full_ enough, to drive away the last vestiges of lingering terror. Guitars wouldn’t cut it either, or horns. It had to be strings.

She pressed play and relaxed into Miroku – who was playing with her hair right now – as the sound washed over her. _Yes, this is_ _just_ _what I needed._

A symphony of light to combat the darkness in her heart.

\- - -

Kagome was selecting her new song and Miroku caressed through her hair idly as he waited for the song to come up, listening intently once it was ready and she told him its name.

This new song was apparently called “Canon in D Major” and it was light, soft, and airy. So many strings were being played in so many different ways, and there were unfamiliar – but somehow comforting – sounds mixed in with the string instruments. They were probably string instruments played in a different way than using a “bow” to play them, most likely. (By now, Kagome had explained everything she could think of about the music she adored so that Miroku would be able to listen to it with a more discerning ear.)

The music livened, becoming a more hearty sound of light and happiness, before softening and quieting once more, a different sort of quietness. It still wasn’t as airy as it had been to begin with, but it was gentler than the previous tone; before it filled out again and swelled in a chorus of strengthening sound.

This was exactly what they needed. It was stunningly gorgeous – _just like my Kagome_ – and sweet. Beauty composed by sound. The chorus was rising even more now, strong and almost – but not quite – triumphant. Instead of triumph it was more like joy.

The song ended and he kissed Kagome softly, smiling down at her as she relaxed into his body. “Thank you, koishi. We needed that.”

Because it was every last bit as important – if not more so – for her to take care of her own needs, to purge herself, as it was for her to help him, cleanse him, purge him, with her music. They had _both_ needed this terribly badly after the trauma of the past few days.

Miroku was not about to let his precious one get away with not taking care of herself, after all. She deserved better than that, and she was well aware that he felt that way – and felt that way herself. He was so proud of her growth; Kagome in the beginning hadn’t been like this, so intent on taking care of her own needs. She had always placed the needs of everybody around her in front of what she needed or desired out of life, and so it was most pleasant to see that she was now as intent on caring for herself as she was intent on taking care of those around her.

He kissed her again and they sat in the still, cold night air for a few moments until departing back to camp before Inuyasha got too worried about them.

 


	15. Adagio for Strings - Samuel Barber

**Adagio for Strings – Samuel Barber**

The last few encounters with the Shichinintai had been less stressful than their first encounters with them were, thankfully. Still unpleasant and distasteful, but less terror-inducing.

Kagome was pondering this and thinking _hard_ about what was bothering her at the moment. What was bothering her was that she was becoming so very _inured_ to life in the Sengoku Jidai. Kagome wasn’t as innocent, hopeful, or convinced that everyone had good in them as she had been in the beginning, and she was wondering if that was a good thing or not. Well, clearly, for her _sanity_ it was a good thing – if she hadn’t been becoming used to all this violence and trauma she would be going mad right about now – but was it good for her _heart_?

She wasn’t sure, and that was beginning to wear on her. What else was wearing on her was that her emotions were so damn mixed towards the situation that nothing she listened to was soothing her. Miroku knew what was going on, and his aura was constantly reassuring and supporting her, which was nice, but still didn’t _fix_ the problem; he knew that, too, which meant that her love was displeased by the situation almost as much as she was.

Neither of them were happy campers, and the fact that Naraku was hiding behind the barrier on Mt. Hakurei – at least, that seemed the only conceivable place for him to be – was making things worse. Why would Saint Hakushin allow such a vile being to shelter behind his barrier of purity? What on earth could be going on that they were missing from the picture?

Finally, Kagome decided to risk crying after all – despite not being able to purge herself of her feelings, that had been in large part due to her hesitancy in deciding to listen to the piece of music that would wring these emotions from her and get rid of the dissonance she was currently experiencing and feeling. Samuel Barber’s “Adagio for Strings” almost always made her cry, it was so beautifully sad, so achingly symphonic and stunning. It was pure and soft and sweetly depressing, gently pressuring the person listening to it to just let everything out. Kagome had always resonated with that purity before now, but now that she was losing the pieces of her emotions that had previously kept her more innocent she thought that the lack of resonation would just make her cry harder.

Kagome realised that just because her emotional innocence was lost did not mean she was any less pure, not really; it just meant she was seeing the world as it really was. But it still was something difficult to come to grips with and to accept. It was something she had to grieve, and Kagome did not _like_ grief. She hated it, in fact.

Sighing, she grabbed her mp3 player and beckoned to Miroku. Might as well get this over with.

\- - -

Kagome had been… Depressed wasn’t exactly the right word for Kagome’s mood as of late, but it was the word that came closest. It was a mixture of thoughtfulness, distance, and sadness. Miroku understood why – Kagome was worrying over how much and in how many ways she had changed since she began her adventures here. She hadn’t hidden any of her thoughts from him, but she seemed very much loathe to purge this time around, rather than eager. Miroku rather thought that it was because, while Kagome was a very emotionally open person, she was still hesitant to do some things, and crying was one of those things. For all her open emotions, tears were something Kagome tried to allow as little as possible of into her life. She thoroughly detested them, regardless of the emotion behind them and whether it was positive or negative. Miroku was trying to work on her dislike but it was not by any means an easy process.

Miroku thought that the only way she would be able to come to grips with her new emotional maturity was to grieve the loss of her previous emotional innocence, and that would be difficult for anyone to do, but especially for Kagome to do. Kagome did not like to grieve at all.

When she got up that night and called for him, he was relieved; she had finally decided to get this over with. It would be good for her, although it would still be difficult.

“This is called “Adagio for Strings,” by Samuel Barber.”

She said that as he settled her into his lap, and he nodded. This song title said nothing about what the content would be like, unlike most of her previous song titles. Still, he could guess the content from her mood. This would be a _very_ sad song.

He was right, he mused, as the song began to play. It was painfully beautiful, aching and raw and leaking. It did not take long for Kagome to begin crying, as a sense of loss pervaded him. The song was so sad that Miroku himself almost felt like crying, just from how overwhelming loss wassaturating the music. Kagome felt like this, felt a sense of loss so keen that it was almost killing her inside.

He held her close to him and kissed the trails of tears on her cheeks, just supporting her while she grieved for the loss of her mental innocence, while she grieved the death of whatever part of her had kept her so emotionally pure.

When the song finished, she was shriven, absolved, cleansed. She was still sad, but no longer so torn and no longer wondering about the nature of things and whether they were good or not. She had accepted her loss, accepted that things had to be this way in the end, and accepted that it did not make her less of a good person just because she was disillusioned about the nature of life around her.

Kagome would forge her path onwards from now on with a stronger sense of self.


	16. River Flows In You - Yiruma

**River Flows in You – Yiruma**

Kagome needed something _light_. Something _sweet_. Something _beautiful_. Something that absolutely did  not reflect her actual mental state right now, because right now she was pretty damn terrified. She _would_ say that her choice to come into Mt. Hakurei with Miroku instead of letting Sango-chan come was a bad one – but it absolutely wasn’t. It was the right choice to make. Kagome had distance with her bow like Sango-chan had with her hiraikotsu, and she could purify Naraku’s miasma and the poison from his saimyōshō, which had been a true blessing because they had gotten surrounded and Miroku had had no _choice_ but to use his kazaana despite all the saimyōshō around. If it wasn’t for her he very well might have died – or at the very least would have come _close_ to dying.

Still, they had to continue their journey to find Saint Hakushin; which meant staying the night inside of Mt. Hakurei, where they knew damn well that Naraku was hiding. Kagome had a strong barrier around them, one so strong that anything that tried to get in would be bounced off and purified on touch. Despite knowing this, however, Kagome was still pretty frightened. How could she not be? They knew that Naraku was in here some place and they knew that they would eventually be fighting not only him but all the hordes of yōkai that would be converging on the mountain when the barrier was taken down – of course, they _also_ knew that they would win every single fight they fought, but even so. It would be a tiring battle to fight to get out of here.

Still… What piece of music did she have that would suit to make her feel soft and light and beautiful? Oh, that was a good idea. “River Flows in You” by Yiruma. It was another modern classical piece that she had found by chance and fallen in love with.

\- - -

Kagome was feeling as frightened as Miroku was – if not more so. When he‘d had to absorb so many saimyōshō that he had almost been killed, she had been terrified at how he might have died without her presence with him. He was incredibly glad that Kagome had insisted on coming with him instead of Sango-san like Inuyasha had originally planned. He could have _died_ and then she would have been left all alone without him.

The idea was most unpleasant.

When she decided to listen to some music before they bedded down he had been pleased – surely whatever piece she selected would be peaceful and soothing to combat their fear.

And it was. “River Flows in You” was soothing and restful, beautiful and soft and sweet.

The piano was slow to start with, almost, but not quite, sad, before it sped up and became a chorus of lightness and happiness. It slowed for a short time and sped up again, becoming lighter and more fulfilling, with a soft sense of purpose to the tone that spoke a little of their necessity of being here, where they were tonight. Then it slowed again, light and airy and gentle, the piece ending on a few sweet notes that made his heart warm even as he was sad to have the music end.

“That was just what I needed to hear, koishi.”

She smiled sweetly at him, saying “Me too. Now let’s sleep while we have the chance. Tomorrow is a new day with new trials. No doubt Inuyasha is trying to get into the mountain as we speak.”

He laughed, because it was true – the hanyō was impatient and wanted this fight to be over with.


End file.
